Cuddling on the
Wild Side

CB6000 Wood Grain Finish

The creators of the famous CB line of chastity devices has released a new Wood Grain Finish for their CB6000. The CB6000 is the latest in their line of chastity devices. The great thing about the CB line of products is you can use their numbered plastic locks if you have a sub that needs to go through metal detectors.

I tried contacting the creators of CB6000, but they didn’t respond. Just wait till my blog becomes huge, and they’ll regret it then.  Just take caution of the wording “Wood Grain Finish”. That likely means that it uses some type of coating to achieve the “Wood Grain” look. The pros of this is that you don’t have to worry about splinters or easy breaking, but it does lose some of it’s designer appeal.

This seems to be a little bit over the top to me and probably targeted towards straight women locking up their men. Maybe it’s just me, but I would rather see one that looks like a dirty jockstrap or a tire. I want it rugged looking, not like my sub should be sitting up on a museum pedestal 24/7.

They have a link to it on their website, but I haven’t seen the product sold elsewhere yet.

Cuddling on the Wild Side is here to share experiences, knowledge and stories with those interested in learning more about the kink world. Well, that, and get you all hot, bothered, horny and hard. While I try to provide the best content I can, with the help of some other contributors, we are able to make Cuddling on the Wild Side a better and more informative blog – providing you with different perspectives from tops, bottoms, doms, subs, old guys, young guys, veterans, and newbies. Over the next couple weeks I’ll be posting bios of all the contributors, and get bios from any future contributors and post them. Here’s mine….

Wandering around the Folsom Street Fair 2008 hanging with my friends

Basics – Age, Location, etc.

I’m 25 yrs old and currently living in Austin, TX, but I’m really a midwestern guy from the frozen tundra of Minnesota. Who knows where I’ll end up. Right now I’m working as a web programmer, but have a degree in Graphic Design and German Studies. Maybe I’ll move to Germany some day

What role do you generally take? Top/btm? Dom/sub?

I’m not big on fucking, but pretty versatile when I do, but definitely way more Dom here. I’ll sub on occassion, but I’m a picky sub. So do what I tell you

What got you started or interested in the kink world?

I can’t think of any specific event or thing that got me interested in the kink world, but there is one thing that has helped me explore it immensely. That is the wonderful world of the internet. It’s helped me find some of the hottest, dirtiest, nastiest porn that gets my cock raging hard. I’ve also found and connected with many other equally kinky guys via the help of the internet.

What are you most into?

The top of my list of kinks is CBT and TT as a Dom. To be honest though, there really isn’t much I wouldn’t do as a Dom. What really gets me going is inflicting pain and watching the sub react.

What do you hope to be able to contribute to Cuddling on the Wild Side?

My goal is to be able to share all the things I’ve learned and continue to learn with the rest of the world. My hope is that every reader will take what I have to say and combine it with what they’ve learned and experienced to make the best possible choices. Then there is also just getting people all hot and bothered from reading about some of the things

Favorite porn(s):

Bodybuilder B&D by Shotgun videos, as well as most of his other videos. Then you have almost everything by AlphaMale Media, Raging Stallion, and some of the Colt videos.

What else should everyone know about you?

I’m pretty much an open book and will always be honest, so if you have any questions or constructive feedback, please let me know.

Found this vid over at Twisted Ramblings. While most of my posts tends towards the muscle meat, I wanted to share a little bear love with y’all.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uUcKF9i5XQ[/youtube]

The whole Witch’s Son Series so far

“I will not be a Luddite because you women choose to disdain all things electronic! I have 3 papers due next week alone and I’m not about to sit down with a quill to scratch out a missive to the mistress. Do you remember what century this is?”

“You’ll show respect, man-child!”

“Gran, really? Man-child? I’ve been in this house as your grandson for 16 years. Will you please not speak to me as if I’m some sort of shocking abomination?”

“You were a shock!“

“I know. I’d think you’d be used to the idea of a grandchild with a prick by now.”

“Such language!”

“I’ll just ask mom.” She’d tell me no again but I’d still ask. I’d been trying to get a laptop since the start of school a month before. Having to use friends’ computers who were working on the same papers as me at the same time was not working. We had the money but these old women believed that magic and technology couldn’t co-exist. That I was using a computer in a room filled with computers everyday was of no interest to them because they thought my being male meant that I had no connection to the threads of Light that only they could perceive. They thought this because of how few threads connected to me, they said. I was like all the other people walking around blind to magic. I didn’t know then how it was possible that I could do what I could do with magic without them knowing but I was glad that it was how it was. They looked fairly normal but the old crones were powerful beyond imagining. I needed to stay shrouded.

After the jump… Read the rest of this post »

As with all things, communication is the key. Make sure it’s open two-way communication. (That means no gags at first…)

Check out other Whipping Post questions.

UPDATE: Check out the comments for some  great advice frome Moby.

If you’ve been out at gay bars and events for long enough, or just in the right crowd soon enough, there is a good chance you’ve seen someone with a hanky or bandanna in their back pocket. The color of that hanky usually has a meaning. If you’re on a ranch or a similar situation, it’s probably just meant to be a bandanna, so ignore everything below. Check out our Hanky Code Guide for a comprehensive and easy to use guide. These same colors apply other things like leather armbands, piping on pants and jock straps. So next time you wear a red jockstrap to a leather bar, you might want to check out what it means.

The origins of the Hanky Code:

It all began back in the early 70’s with an article in the Village Voice. The Village Voice is an alternative paper that has been published in New York’s Greenwich Village since 1955. They published a story saying that gays in the bars in the village would have an easier time picking each other up if there were a better system than keys left and right. They suggested going to the surplus store at Christopher and Washington and buying the Levi bandanas. There were only a few colors suggested: red, navy, light blue, green, and black; because that was all there was for sale in that store at the time. The article was meant as a joke, but the community took it to heart. Shortly after that bandanas started to appear in back pockets all over the Village. Over time, more colors were added and use of the “hanky code” spread beyond New York. [source]

The Hanky Code can be a very useful method for finding out what a person may be into. The problem is just like Tea Leaves, it’s all up to the interpretation which can easily be very different from what the flagger intended. One example is an orange hanky. This will generally mean “up for anything”, but does that mean in the left pocket they are a top and the right they are a bottom? Or does it mean that in the left they are “up for anything” and in the right they are not looking?

The other issue I have with the Hanky Code is that just because someone is flagging for something, doesn’t mean that’s the only thing they are interested in. So even if someone is flagging red, for fisting, that doesn’t mean they might not be up for some CBT play or watersports. Also, just because they are flagging right, doesn’t mean they are only a bottom. It may just means that’s what they would like to find that night. They still may find you interesting enough to go home with even if you don’t match their flag.

The great thing about the Hanky Code is that it can strike up a good conversation. If you see someone flagging, even if you know what it means, it allows you to walk up and ask them, “I see you’re flagging blue, that’s for fucking, right?”. Then later you can ask “So, what else are you into?” You might not want to start with those lines, but you could go there pretty quickly.

Check out our Hanky Code Guide for a full run-down of all the different colors/materials/etc.

The group is called Unit 911, their song called “Give it to me”, and their music foscuses on the dark and dirty, especially cops, uniformed men, and leather. WOOF, I know… right. It’s a fucking HOT music video!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTmvZtYRGrA[/youtube]

Go to YouTube and check out the High Quality version.

My mother was a witch. Her mother was a witch. Her mother, too, was a witch. The women in my family have been witches for as long as there has been a family. Each woman has had only one daughter and has never kept a man longer than needed for conception. On the day of my birth, my grandmother and great-grandmother cast the circle into which I would emerge. They were excitedly awaiting the continuation of a tradition, of a lineage. They were not expecting me to be born a boy.

The women grieved for years as if they had lost a member of their family who’d been with them for a lifetime. They looked upon me as if I’d somehow intentionally thrown a wrench into the gears of their most intricate plans. My Gran and Great-Gran faulted my mother. It had been part of her earliest training in magic to enable herself to only conceive of a daughter. My Grans’ scrying throughout her pregnancy had consistently delivered the message that I was a healthy, baby girl, however. There was no precedent for any of this in our lengthy and detailed family history.

Doing a little levitation practice with my mother.

Even through my mother’s bitterness at having bore a son. she secretly taught me magic. My Grans had forbidden it. They felt that a “man-child” not only shouldn’t, but couldn’t know of or practice magic properly. My mother took secret pleasure in my natural aptitude for all things arcane. She still tells me the stories of my correcting the spells that she was teaching me for the first time and of how quickly I moved from the crutch of spellcasting into advanced practice. I suppose that the most evident show of skill that I showed was my keeping from my Grans not only that I had magic but that I was a boy before even being born. While I was the first male born into our family I was not the first conceived. My Grans blame their failings upon my being gay and confusing the magic with my very being. My mother has a differing opinion. I believe she is right. She holds it as truth that I was blessed from my first blinking into existence because my father was no mundane sperm donor. He had an understanding and command of magic that had dazzled my mother into defying her mother and producing his offspring.

Being born into such a fucked up life in a world that isn’t so great itself could have made me a bit fucked up myself. While some people in the ‘magical community’ are just misfits trying to connect with other misfits and people walking through the motions of spells, my people are natural witches. We walk the wheel of eternity and we move magic in our lives and through the lives of others. There are rules, of course. We follow them. The rules that your average new age bookstore kitchen witch knows, however, are not the rules that govern our existence. Those women would never dream of aborting a child for being male. That is just the tip of the iceberg.

For all the unscrupulousness of my family, however, I have been pushed the other way. It is a relatively odd thing for rebellion to make you do what is right but that is how it has gone thus far. Life is an interesting thing.

I record this telling of my life not because I think it terribly interesting or of great import. I record this telling because there are other men, like me, who have stumbled through life learning less than they should from where they should learn it. Perhaps this telling will help them move forward more smoothly than I was able to do. May my mistakes be the foundation of your understanding.

A note on organization: I have scratched out these tales through the years. I have arranged them mostly in order of my gaining new magical skills or on the ways I have learned to be of service not only as a witch but as a person of power. That power comes not only from my ability to impact the perceived reality but from my having made a decision to hold up and encourage others as they work to change their own world. Some of the stories, admittedly, are revealing and sometimes steamy. A life without love is a life half-lived. I have lived my life thus far and continue to do so. Love shows up in many ways and for differing lengths of time. This does not change that it is love. Blessed be.

Excerpt from part 2:
“…let his fingers slide into every ridge between his abs. He squeezed his own biceps. He molested his pecs like he was afraid…”

Howdy fellow perverts and perversion-enthusiasts!

I think it bears repeating that whether your into exxxtreme kink or are merely a vanilla twist*, you should honor your kinks and let your freak flag fly high.

I believe Gene here says it best:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fFHtj2ut4Y[/youtube]

From Wet Hot American Summer

A shout out to all the ass-mud-smearers and fridge-humpers out there. To whatever turns your crank (so long as it involves consenting adults and/or appliances, of course), hold your head high and be proud of who you are!

*vanilla twist means someone with just a slight kink.

Last week I added the Whipping Post page (Link is on your right). You can ask the dirtiest, craziest, naughtiest questions and I’ll do my best to answer it or find someone that will be able to give a better answer. Here is the first question and answer:

Is it usual to get jaded & progress to other kinks over time, or is it just me?
Firstly, I wouldn’t say that you are jaded by any means. It’s perfectly natural for your tastes to mature and evolve. I had one friend that hated pit smells until he came across a hot guy that loved it. From then on some nice pits would give him an instant boner. If you are ever stagnant, that’s when there is a problem. Lastly, you may really enjoy flogging with one partner, but another it may be a total turn off. Do what works best with the chemistry for that partner.

Unless you were born with the innate knowledge of all things kink related and how the community works, you had to learn about it at some point in time. I’m going to impart some of my experiences and observations upon you about the kink world. For those that have other experiences, please share them with me and everyone else.

1) Start with the very basics of all sex, always play safe. That means using condoms and other protective barriers. Also, know what will degrade different barriers that you are using. For latex condoms, and other latex items, anything that is oil-based will deteriorate the latex. That means you shouldn’t fist a guy with Crisco then think it’s safe to fuck him with a condom. Also, it’s an excellent idea to use condoms on ass-play toys, especially if there are multiple people involved. I’ve known people to get everything from a Staph infection to herpes from sex play. Make sure you are prepared for anything that might happen in advance. I recommend keeping extra condoms, lube,  gloves and a small first aid kit in your toy bag. You never know what might happen.

2) Never trust anyone, especially at first. It’s very pessimistic, but it’s true. Do not trust their HIV/STD status, whether they are in a relationship or not, or what experiences they have had. People will often say whatever will get into your pants. I highly recommend avoiding things that could put you in risky situations like in bondage, asphyxiation sex, or knife/edge play. Whether you plan to do some of these things or not, it’s a great idea to always notify someone where you are going to be. I have a roommate, so I’ll leave a map of where I’m going to be and maybe the person’s profile up on my computer screen. Another idea is to have a buddy that you just IM where you’re going and when you’ll let them know you’re alright. These warnings aren’t just for subs. Doms, you have to watch out too. You never know what “surprises” someone may have waiting for you.

3) If you’re interested in trying something new, being willing to try it and find someone to try it with. You could mention it to some of your kinky friends and they may be able to recommend the perfect person for you, but also try mentioning it with a potential partner. They may already be an expert in that field. Also, proceed slowly and in a controlled manner. I’m very open about my sexuality and my sexual interests even when just meeting a guy. This causes them to be much more open also and willing to try things they’ve only fantasized about.

4) If you don’t heed this last warning, you might as well ignore everything else I’ve said. It’s very simple… avoid any type of mood-altering substances before playing. This includes alcohol, drugs or sometimes even just being desperate to get some action. These substances can cause you to ignore every recommendation above regardless of any planning you do. I’d even recommend avoiding playing with people that are under an influence because they won’t be in the right mind to give proper feedback.

As for finding kinky guys to try things with, as I mentioned earlier, just tell any potential partner. Just don’t make it sound like a demand. One site I highly recommend is Recon, but if you’re looking for an online hook-up on non-kink sites, try putting things like “mild to (very) wild” in your other profiles. Sometimes I’ll even go so far as listing out some of the things that interest me. Also, don’t be afraid to ask people when talking to them, just don’t make it ever sound like a requirement (unless it is).

If you have any questions, please send me an email and I’ll respond on the blog, unless you request otherwise. Either way I’ll keep you confidential. If more appropriate, I may have one of the other contributors respond. Also check out my Whipping Post page to see if I’ve already answered your question

PS – Yes, those are just hot guys there to keep your attention some. I’ll try to do that every now and then.

There are many kinky things a Master and the boy can do or use, but if you don’t have the space or the budget to invest in some dungeon equipment, you can still get lots of intensity by using the method of cum denial.

thedoghouse.org provided a pretty good definition for cum denial:

The principle behind cum denial is simple: the victim wants to cum, but is prevented from doing so. The more desperately he needs to cum, the more effective it is – and this becomes a torture when the Top sets about intentionally increasing the victim’s need to cum, while also making very sure that he can’t obtain the relief he so urgently needs.

Being a sub, there is nothing more discouraging when my Master gives the mercy to pleasure me but not giving the final edge or permission to cum. It’s both humiliating and sexually frustrating at the same time. The brilliant part about this is there are infinite amount of ways my Master can torture me and he always get to use my own fetish against me: the more I love it, the more agony I am in. He gets to hear me squirm and beg while I can’t even complain the situation because I am under my own torture. May it be a piece of silk fabric gently rubbing the tip of the cock, making me believe I will get to cum but can not, or simply being told not to touch myself while he describe every detail of the porn he is watching, the list is endless.

There is a lot of flexibility with cum denial, in fact, it can be done at any time of the day at any location (the torture is just a phone call away), but the key is to keep the sub in constant urge to cum. It depends on the individual, but in general, after half hour to an hour of torture, the sub generally will start to lose completely control over himself and eventually all he could think of is to release himself. This is generally the time when my master will say “it’s going to be a long night.” It puts me in hopeless state of frustrating wondering if I will ever get it. Other methods can be added to maximize the fun like punishments (or threaten to) when the sub cum without permission, force milking on the sensitive cock after orgasm, or one of my favorite, cum ruin, which is when my master finally permit me to cum yet once it starts shooting he takes off all stimulation so no pleasure were given.

Cum denial is a great way for you and your Master to bond with each others. As it takes a reasonable time for a Top to completely understand the body of the sub, by testing different methods of arouse it opens up new fetishes for both the master and the boy in a safe and control way.

West Hollywood

I’m all about adding value for the readers, so in this space that I was going to dedicate exclusively to a review of Mr. S Leather in Los Angeles, I will also include – at no additional charge – a review of 665 Leather, a review of a very slow night at the Eagle, some great places for ice cream and a review of the West Hollywood Ramada Inn. You’re welcome, kinksters!

I recently had occasion to visit sunny Los Angeles with my partner. While trying to tack pleasure onto the end of a business trip, our #1 stop on my “must visit” list was Mr. S Leather. Like many of you, I’ve made a few purchases from Mr. S, and have always been struck by their high quality and very friendly service. So I was wound up to see what their retail location would be like. First of all, Mr. S L.A. is right around the corner from Scoops Ice Cream, which is a phenomenal purveyor of incredible ice creams. It’s like a little secret among the locals and there’s always a line, but it’s so worth it. So within a one-block radius you have amazing ice cream and an emporium of top-of-the-line sex and BDSM toys. So yeah, it’s pretty much one of the coolest city blocks on planet earth.

Walking into Mr. S, for me, was like that scene in the original Willy Wonka when they walked into the chocolate room. Only replace edible treats as far as the eye can see with assorted implements of kinky fuckery. The selection was fairly comprehensive and the layout of the store is easy to navigate. You enter through the rear (naturally) and they offer a tattoo parlor on site right as you walk in, which is convenient if you want to brand your pig boy while you browse. The staff was flirty, friendly and helpful and went out of their way to make me feel comfortable while I shopped. They even encouraged me to try things on my partner, which I gladly did.

Friends can attest that if you tell me my ass looks good in something, I will probably buy it. Even if it’s shoes. I’m totally a sucker for retail-flattery. So when one of the employees oinked at me while I was trying on jeans and said “your ass looks nice in that, Daddy,” I knew I’d be getting them – price tag be damned. I wish more places “upsold” like that. It would take the sting out of having to go to Best Buy.

While my typical online browsing allows me to show restraint (no pun intended), I quickly found out that shopping in the store can be dangerous for me. I’m very instant gratification driven, and things that I would normally talk myself out of online become far too enticing in person. Between that and the oinking/woofing, I pretty much shot the vacation budget at this one stop. However, I regret nothing. Mr. S prices are concurrent with their quality, which is high but totally worth it and they aim to please.

I could go into more graphic detail, but it’s easier to reduce it down to this: Ample selection of most of their online products; super-friendly staff; fitting rooms that you can pretty much see into and centrally located in the rapidly gentrifying Silverlake portion of Los Angeles. If you’re in L.A., go there, shop there, you won’t be disappointed.

Mr. S is connected to the Faultline, which we didn’t check out this time, but you have to admire its handy access to Mr. S. We did check out the Eagle, though. A friend of ours DJ’s there and we wanted to stop in and see him. It was our last night in L.A. and my 8th consecutive night on the road, so I was pretty much done with the trip. Even though we were at the Eagle before the crowds arrived (apparently there was a huge bus trip on the way back from Palm Springs), it was still everything I hoped it would be. For those of you who have been to the L.A. location, or have been to other Eagles around the U.S., you know that it is more or less the gold standard of leather bars. Just clean enough to not scare off the timid and just dirty enough in all the sexiest ways. It was easy to see how when that place is jumping it can get pretty out of control. We WILL be going back, I assure you.

Part of what I love about L.A. is that despite being dauntingly large and hideously congested with traffic, it’s still laid out pretty sensibly. Case in point: you have Mr. S and the Eagle on the Silverlake-side of Santa Monica Boulevard, but all you need to do is head West on Santa Monica and you end up right in the heart of West Hollywood, where 665 Leather and the Ramada WeHo is located. It’s not a reasonable walking distance, to be sure. But as the song goes, nobody walks in L.A. Everyone does valet,however, because there is NO PLACE TO PARK, particularly in West Hollywood. Which is why I recommend the Ramada.

Mondrian Skybar at Night

If you have the operating capital to stay at the Mondrian, then please do so. Being a writer with a modicum of artistic integrity (that’s code for broke-ass), I try to do vacations on a budget. And the Ramada helps accomplish that. It’s centrally located in the heart of WeHo and offers one of the most valuable things you can have in the area: an off-street parking space. This alone makes the Ramada worth it. Although be warned: a reasonably high-clearance vehicle is recommended, as the garage exit hits a sharp point and I scraped the bejeezus out of the bottom of our rental. Also, they charge a pretty steep premium for the spaces, which are too few for the hotel, but it’s still easier than trying your luck at finding a space on the street. The rooms are not fancy by any stretch, but the beds are ample in both size and comfort, which probably suffices for the average clientele. My biggest complaint is that the showers can’t withstand more than one person at a time. If you have a bed big enough to sleep at least four full-sized adults, shouldn’t you have a shower that can at least comfortably fit two? Another thing to note: just because this is a hotel in the middle of all that West Hollywood gaiety, it’s not like you can run around like a naked maniac. There were lots of vacationing gay (and a few straight!) families walking the halls. So if you thought you were going to run down to the ice machine in just a harness, cock ring and hood, think again, Romeo. It’s a family establishment. They have a pool, which we didn’t check out. I’m usually creeped-out by hotel pools, even the ones that aren’t in the middle of gay meccas. I generally regard them as bubbling cauldrons of bodily fluids. And I only hope that they keep it at a 50/50 water to chlorine ratio, particularly on Pride weekend. Regardless, the Ramada West Hollywood is the cross section of affordable and “clean enough.” Perfect for someone wanting to visit L.A. and be close to the action, but isn’t planning on spending tons of time in their room. If you don’t have a place to crash, I recommend it.

The Ramada is walking distance to a bunch of gay clubs, chief among them The Abbey. It’s about a half-mile hike, but totally worth it. The Abbey is a good place to dance, socialize, eat (great food and spectacular desserts), and spot occasional up-and-coming porn stars. During a previous visit we were a table away from a contingent of COLT models grabbing a snack, so that made for a pleasant distraction.

The Ramada is also a block and a half away from 665 Leather. Smaller and more boutique-style than Mr. S, 665 also carries a comprehensive selection of gear – albeit in more specific niches, and boasts another very friendly staff. I would bet money that I’d seen the guy behind the counter in some leather porn. If it wasn’t him, then the guy behind the counter SHOULD be in some leather porn.

While Mr. S covers a broad base of fetishes, 665 goes into greater depth with the neoprene, rubber and suction/insertion toys. Their selection of dildos was a bit more gonzo than Mr. S, eliciting at least one “oh… that doesn’t go INSIDE a person!” from me. Of course it DOES go inside a person. But that person better not have any walking to do for a while. Another thing I liked about 665 was that while Mr. S looks very much like a leather fetish shop from the street, 665 looks more like a small Restoration Hardware from a distance. As you’re driving in from Beverly Hills, you probably would have to do a double take on your first drive-by to realize that this cheery looking little shop contained a feast of erotic delights. Not wanting to leave empty handed, I bought some gun oil and got on their mailing list. If you’re in West Hollywood, be sure to stop in. It’s only about a block and a half from Millions of Milkshakes, which is worth checking out as well. They gained recent acclaim for being a haunt of Miley Cyrus, who has her special “Miley Milkshake” on the menu.

And now that I have managed to mention Miley Cyrus on the same blog that can casually discuss extreme fisting, I can die a happy man.

By the way, have you noticed how I locate all my favorite leather fetish stores by their proximity to ice cream based businesses? This is not an accident. For me, a perfect world is pervy sex with regular ice cream snack breaks.

There you go, a very brief and shockingly non-comprehensive review of a tiny slice of the leather scene in sunny, earthquakey Los Angeles. Stay tuned for the rest of my series on the Leather Scene in American Cities. Next stop: Dubuque, IA. That will be a very short post.

Some wild cuddlers have answered the call to join the cuddle. Over the next couple weeks you’ll be seeing some posts from some others. There will be some little biographies about them too.

One of the first posts from another cuddler will be by DoktorM writing about a trip to LA including a review of Mr S Leather and 665. He’s very witty and will always leave you entertained as well as informed. The other contributor you will be seeing is Seiya who will be providing the view of a submissive Gaysian.

Look for some fantastic posts by these wild cuddlers in the next couple days. I am also working on a Kink Primer, designed to help those of you interested in join the ranks of Wild Cuddling.