Cuddling on the
Wild Side

There aren’t many iPhone apps out there for kinksters. Actually this is the first one targeted at us that I’ve ever heard of. There are a couple gay apps like Grindr.

Before you delve to far into this, if you don’t know what the Hanky Code is, check out an earlier post I did about it.

The Hanky Code app is a $1.99 app that allows you to select from an array of hankies to that will be displayed on your iPhone. The blue hanky, to the right, is an example of what is displayed on your iPhone screen.

Essentially the color is the only thing that will change. If you happen to be somewhere, see a hanky and aren’t sure what it means; you could also use the app to look up the meaning.

Not only are those features included, but you can also read about the history of the Hanky Code.

A for how someone would actually use this to flag, it’s best to read directly from the creator in an interview with Butt Magazine:

How does it work? Is it like Grindr?
Not really. Suppose you were at a bar and you saw someone with a real hanky in their back pocket, you could just pull up the app real quick, click on the color and it would give you the meaning. The app also will light up your screen with a picture of whatever hanky you are so the iPhone actually becomes the hanky. If you’re at a coffee shop or a restaurant somewhere and you’re working on your computer you can have your iPhone to the left or to the right of your computer or your coffee and guys walk by and the notice it and they’re like ‘hmm.’

So… yeah. Please let me know if you see someone doing this and if possible take a picture and send it to me. Firstly, the app costs $1.99 so unless you truly find the novelty worth it, I’d recommend just going out and buying an actual hanky. If you want to look up the hanky code, just visit this site on your iPhone, for my iPhone optimized site, click the little down arrow to the right side and you can view my large list of Hanky Codes.

The other major problem I have with the app is the extreme lack of hanky colors. While the red hanky (fisting) does flash up when you start the app, it disappears and you can’t select it from the list. Another very popular color, yellow (watersports/pissing), is missing from the list. Instead you have one’s for people with a “navel fetish”. With the minimal amount of time it would take to create a more extensive list of hankies, I’m disappointed in the app. And amazed that they charge $1.99 for it.

I’d recommend avoiding this app for now. Maybe in the future it’ll actually become useful, but for now it’s a poor novelty app. I’ll let you know if it does become better being that I did waste the $1.99 so you guys wouldn’t need to.

Thoughts about Master’s Manual

We know why we eat, we know why we work, but do we know why we have kinky, bdsm sexy? What is it about being spanked that gets you going? What is it about tugging on someone’s nips that makes your cock bounce a little?

There’s so much that’s pleasurable in life, and yet it seems that some of the ultimate pleasure comes from sexually charged connections with another person. Don’t infer that I meant there has to be an orgasm, but the sexual energy and connection that exists. I’m sure there are scientific reasons for some of it, but they won’t explain why I like to beat a muscle boy’s ass black and blue, while the next guy wouldn’t even pick up a paddle.

Jack Rinella, from the Master’s Manual, does make a very good point that if you aren’t at least beginning to understand why you like kinky, bdsm, leather sex; it’s best to stop until you do. I have to agree with him there. There MUST be a basic understanding of why you enjoy it. It’s not going to be something easy to define, it’ll likely take an entire lifetime to begin to even figure out, and by then things will have changed so much it’ll just be looking back on a nostalgic past.

On top of the time it’ll take to figure out why there are many aspects to a connection – physical, romantic, sexual, mental, emotional, and spiritual. A true and powerful experience will touch on all of those. I have yet to experience something like that yet. For me it’s going to have to be an experience with a life-long partner. It takes me a while to build a true connection with a person. As with all things kinky, while thinking about those things, the box is going to need to be broken and the crayon is going to go outside of the lines.

WildCuddler I’ve been called a “hoss” before, and I figured out what that means, but what is a “hose”, as in “hey there hose”.

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WildCuddler Don’t ever send me a message on a hookup site that just says “fuckable”. I like being a piece of meat sometimes, but that’s too much.

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It’s not only the mass retail stores that have Black Friday Sales. Most of these last longer than today, but there are some good deals out there

Fleshjack 25% off your ENTIRE order through Monday, Nov 30th. Use coupon code black.

665 Leather 20% off your order until Monday, Nov 30th. Free shipping on orders over $250.

JT Stockroom Up to 50% off on select items. Runs through Dec 2nd.

Mr S Leather Deals on many products. I can’t tell if this is today only or not.

Leatherpost 25% off of most items with coupon code THANKYOU. Deal goes through “Monday December 1st” (Which doesn’t exist, so either Monday Nov 30 or Tuesday Dec 1st). They are not one of my favorite retailers. Read my review of them.

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Let me know if there are any other deals going on.

WildCuddler Can someone explain to me why you would delete a message from someone you’ve never talked to before without reading it?

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I just started reading The Master’s Manual, and unlike the last book I read, I’m going to try to write my thoughts about the book as I go along.

From the very beginning you can tell that this book is written from someone that has been around and in the scene for a long time. In a way he addresses that it takes a while to truly become a Master. He writes, “The kind of people who stand out as Masters know what to do, and they know that they know what to do.” The only way you are going to get there are with years of practice and learning.

As a Master, if you truly feel you know everything, I hope you get as far away from the SM scene as possible because you’re likely to hurt someone. The SM world is no different than life… you will NEVER know everything. As a Master though, depending on who you are with, you may want to hide that fact from them. I prefer to let my partner, scene or otherwise, know that we’re both on a journey to expand our worlds and learn more on the path. I’m not going to be perfect, and I’m going to make mistakes, but I will take every opportunity I have to reduce the chances for dangerous mistakes. Just as he writes:

SM needs the same interpersonal skills, the same common sense, and the same desire for experience that any human endeavor demands.

The one thing he wrote about that really made me want to start writing this was his thoughts on how “SM is real people being real.” It’s very true to. For a lot of people, it’s really just a part of their life, just as watching football is far a football fan. That is something that is very important for outsiders to understand. Although the things SM folk do may seem very weird, think about how an outsider with no knowledge of the subject would look at a hardcore football fan – covered in paint, wearing the team’s colors, shouting at a TV screen at people they have no true personal involvement with, and doing all of this with friends in a ritualistic way.

He mentioned something I frequently forget to think about, and almost causes some problems with me. SM is about pleasure. It’s that pure and simple. It’s not about having an orgasm. It’s not about fucking. It’s about enjoying what you are doing regardless of the outcome. A lot of times we focus too much on what we want to get out of an encounter rather than just making sure we are enjoying everything as we go along. I have had amazing experiences without shooting my load. Granted, most of the times I wish I had, but they were still great experiences and that’s what I need to make sure I keep in mind.

WildCuddler Don’t put that you’re “hung” in your profile, then say you’re cock’s 6.5 inches.

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