From the views of a single man…
There’s a strong allure about hookup sites like Manhunt, adam4adam, Recon, Grindr, etc. It’s taken me a surprisingly long time to figure it out and truly admit what that allure is. Lots of times I’ll stay logged in for the chance that someone I’m interested in will message me, but that rarely happens. I’ll check back after leaving it on for a couple hours and I’ll see 3-4 messages. I’ll cycle through them and depending on my mood, not respond or just the don’t-message-me-again “Thanks”.
It’s the same reason people pan for gold, shop the bargain rack, or go gambling… there’s the chance that you might get lucky and f ind what you are looking for, or in some cases that they’ll find you.
The true reason is the feeling of being desired. Yeah, it’s great to have someone you know tell you that you’re a good person and how much they like you, but often it looses it’s effect over time. Maybe there’s an endorphin reaction to explain it, but it seems like when someone new finds you attractive and find you them attractive, it leaves a better feeling. That initial spark can create an amazing feeling, but then there is the game of whether it continues or fades off into oblivion as if it never happened.
Am I looking for a boyfriend? As much as I want to say “no”, I really am. I’m not desperate and I’m not going to settle, but it would be nice to find one. Maybe it’s just the cold weather, as this is the nesting season, but I hope that’s not the case.
Am I going to find a boyfriend online? Probably not, but in my mind there is always that chance and that’s what drives me to log on. I’m trying to get away from the online hookup world. I’ll still actively visit sites like BigMuscle and Recon, mostly because they aren’t quick hookup sites, and you really can’t meet local guys on them.
To me, the real question is where do you meet guys. There’s always the bars, coffee shops and the gym. The bars did work for me once, but I had to go to a different city for that. As for what else, I don’t really know.
The other question is what do I do with the time that I’m not surfing hookup sites. It’s kind of scary how much time I spend/waste doing it.