Cuddling on the
Wild Side

WildCuddler I’ve decided I’m going to run for the Gulf Coast Leather Sir competition in Dallas next weekend. Now to fill out my application.

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Update (3/23/2010 12:45pm): Grindr is back in the App Store

It looks as if Grindr has been removed from the App Store. There is this from Wikipedia, “On March 23, 2010, at approximately midnight pacific time, the Grindr app and its references were removed from the app store.”

Also, I went to the App Store and checked myself. It was not there. I have already deleted Grindr, but from what I’ve seen of other removed apps, current users will be able to continue to use the app. It will not be possible for new users to join though through an iPhone App.

Maybe it was Grindr’s fault for creating a product that had to follow Apple’s guidelines, and maybe it was these “family” groups putting pressure on Apple to remove apps like Grindr. Either way I felt that Grindr went about handling the restrictions placed on them very poorly.

I do have some inside scoops that there are some App Store restriction free web apps coming out that will do very much the same as Grindr does. Also, check out the Recon iPhone App which recently added location-based searching. Recon is one of the best gay hook-up/dating sites out there for a wide variety of reasons.

I consider this a victory for the pro-cuddlers. Maybe if Grindr resurfaces, it will be kinder to us.

I would like to thank Kevin for making a comment on my Grindr Review post for notifying me of this.

A couple months ago I got a very sexy, but straight, personal trainer at the gym. He was a a very nice guy I had met a month earlier. Well, it was our second session at the gym and we were doing some squats that were deeper and more intense than I’d done before. We did one set of squats with not much weight, but about 12 reps, then we did another set after a 45 second rest. It was after the 3rd set that I was like, “hey, I need a bit longer after this set.”

I started to get nauseous, my heart was beating out of my chest, I was pouring sweat, and the collar on my shirt was too tight. Well, after a 10 minute break where I arranged myself in various positions, just trying to calm down and breathe, we moved on to the next exercise.

Over time he learned that I need longer breaks and fewer reps if he wants to keep me alive. That’s just me though, I know he trains other people differently.

Now, you’re probably wondering what does this have to do with kinky, raunchy, piggy sex… well, pretty much everything.

His previous client might not have had any trouble with the exercise I was doing, but I did. When playing, especially as the top/Dom, you have to remember that everyone is different, and will react to the things you do differently. Some people get harder the more you torture their nipples, others love to be tickled. The chemical and nervous system reactions in their body will differ between each person too – making some pleasurable and others torturous. Mmmm… torture…

There are a couple ways you can find out whats going to make things work the best:

• Talk to your play partner. Find out what type of experience they have and where they might have had problems in the past. That’s not to say you have to avoid that stuff, but you must be aware of it and tread more carefully there.
• When exploring your partner, especially if you don’t know your partner well, start slow and build up. In general this is a good idea to get all the endorphins going, and making the experience more pleasurable.
• As the bottom in a scene, let your top know if things are going well. If I hadn’t let my trainer know, I might have passed out during my next set dropping weights on me.
• As the top in a scene, make sure you regularly check in on your bottom especially if things are seeming different.

As with any play, communication is key. To me what makes a great Dom/top is that he is able to read the bottom/sub. If you aren’t a great “reader” or just aren’t sure, it’s totally alright to whisper “You doing alright boy?” It will hopefully help to increase the trust factor between you two also. As the bottom, you must feel comfortable telling your top how things are going. He may decide to push you further, but help him to make an informed decision.

Also, realize that mistakes do happen. Hopefully the top will do his best, but sometimes you don’t realize something is wrong until it’s too late. Use what happens after the mistake is made to inform your decision on whether to play again or not. Give the top a little forgiveness too, if appropriate.

WildCuddler Grindr has now been deleted from my phone. I suggest you do the same because they are anti-cuddling.

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Yeah, you might want to read that twice, then gouge your eyes out because you’re afraid you might read it a 3rd time. Normally I don’t post hetro stuff, but to be honest this is barely hetro. A co-worker of mine sent me this because he knew I’d thoroughly enjoy it and I thought y’all might too.

With a lot of fetishes I can usually wrap my brain around why someone might find something appealing, but not this one. Maybe the glove provides a detachment from the person jacking him off?

You know, it really doesn’t matter what gets someone off, as long as they and all participating people consent to it. It’s all good! Keep that in mind…

I left one part of my story about Esprit de Corps out when I wrote it because it requires its own blog post.

While relaxing in the kitchen I was talking to a group of guys, one of which was a fucking hot stud that I had seen the night before at dinner with his partner – Master David. I was pretty much eye-fucking him the entire time I was talking with them. He was yummy. I was even watching him earlier when he was getting single-tailed. His name is Dave, but he’s boy Dave in my head.

One of the guys in the group asked me what I was into and I started listing things off. When I mentioned spanking, boy Dave perked up and asked “You like spanking boys?” And of course I agreed. boy Dave then asked if I wanted to spank a boy now… I was more than happy to oblige. I grabbed my toy bag and we headed into the dungeon area. What came next is an experience I’ve never had before. Usually I’ll go into detail about everything that happened, but that’s just not possible for 2 reasons – one, I don’t remember everything because it lasted for about 3 hrs and two, that wasn’t what made this experience so fucking amazing.

I knew boy Dave liked spanking, but I had to find out if he liked nip and ball torture (my favorites) too. Turns out he didn’t, but do you really think that would stop me… fuck no! I was going to go straight to the spanking, but I had a toy bag full of stuff, some of which had never been used.

I think I had already worked my way into his head in the time it took us to get to the dungeon and look through my toy bag a bit because after some touching and me exploring his body some, I had him laying down with a vice on his balls. Remember, he doesn’t like ball torture… lol. Well, after that we proceeded to vacuum pump his cock and balls then hang about 7 lbs of weight from his balls and some nipple torture.

boy Dave isn’t a pain pig by any means. Normally he’s just a guy that likes to get spanked and disciplined, but I was able to get him into a truly submissive mind-space where he just wanted to please me at almost any cost. It’s amazing too what whispering the words “good boy” in his ear did for both of us. He was a very good boy and took what I gave him very well, but those words are like crack – just as his response of “Thank you Sir” was for me.

With some boys, they are an object for me to beat, but with boy Dave we were more of one unit working together to see how far and intense things could go. I was torturing him, but there was lots of physical and eye contact going on. I would frequently hold him against my chest.

We would have never been able to go through an experience like this if he didn’t trust in me, and at the same time I trust that he would be honest with me. I didn’t force him to do any of the ball torture and gave him many opportunities out.

At one point he told me all the colors were more vibrant. It happens when your endorphins are going and things are going well, so I was extremely pleased to hear it from boy Dave.

After we had finished up with the ball and nip torture, we moved to where things were supposed to go from the start – spanking. And boy Dave is extremely enthusiastic about spanking. I strapped his balls into a humbler to prevent him from squirming too much and keep has ass out for me. It’s also nice if I want to play with his balls too. After quite a bit of spanking and paddling we moved onto the stun gun, and boy was that fun watching him squirm. We did take off the humbler before the stun gun because with the jerking it causes, I didn’t want his balls ripped off.

Throughout the entire second half, we maintained physical contact – him to me and me to him. With boy Dave that was very important to me, both as a way to check in and make sure he’s doing alright, and to feel his energy.

I’ve often heard Tony Buff and Derek da Silva talk about the connection and bond that forms when doing this type of play. I’d never felt what they described until that afternoon. If play time wasn’t over, we would have done a lot more and definitely taken a couple hours for cuddling afterwards.

We ended up hanging out the rest of the night too and it’s because of him I didn’t get home to Austin till 2am, but it was all well worth it. I even got a chance to get to know his Master who is amazing and hot, Master David. I have a feeling I’ll be seeing them both very soon!

Also, check out the CODE event in DC co-hosted by Master David, and the best spanking event in DC hosted by boy Dave

I have found the first iPhone Application that is anti-cuddling. I’ve always thought of cuddling to be an innocent and intimate action, but apparently Grindr finds it to be repulsive and offensive.

Over the past few days I’ve had my Grindr profile censored, and every time I get a message that it’s because of the text. At first I thought it was the “kinky” or “rough and wild fun” portion, but nope, that’s not the case. Today I posted “Just a single guy that likes to cuddle.” and within 2 minutes… BAM… censored.

I would maybe understand this if I tried to post a profile on eHarmony or something, but a family friendly gay hook-up app? This is shocking to me. Maybe they’re just trying to start a war with me because the review I wrote of them wasn’t so kind. It’s also the first thing that pops up if you search “Gindr Review”.

I’m a little addicted to Grindr right now, but I’m going to start weening myself off of it. If you haven’t joined yet, don’t. It’s not worth it to join an anti-cuddling group. I also urge all pro-cuddlers to start weening themselves off of Gindr too until you have no need for it.

Please join the fight and spread the word on Facebook, Twitter or your blog (feel free to post in full with a link back here).

WildCuddler What do you filthy boys use to hold all your sex toys? My toy bag broke last weekend

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Esprit de Corps is a weekend long event hosted by the Dallas Discipline Corps (DC) and includes 3 play parties, a dinner and some social time at the Dallas Eagle. About the closest I’ve ever come to attending anything like this is the Magnitude party during Folsom, but that was a far cry from how this weekend ended up.

Being new to everything I only attended the Saturday dinner and the Sunday play party. It was my amazing sponsor, Dave, who helped me out throughout the weekend and allowed me to attend the weekend. I very much look forward to getting to know him more. I am very glad that one of my friends connected me with him. They’ve both been a great help.

My first challenge of the weekend was what to wear to the leather dinner on Saturday. Dave suggested that I wear my chaps, leather vest, a white dress shirt and tie. Later he found out a t-shirt and vest would be fine, but as I was new I figured I would dress to impress. I ended up being dressed on the upper side, but wasn’t out of place.

The dinner was really nice and I met many great people there, but I was mostly in an observation mode. It wasn’t until after dinner at the Dallas Eagle that I got to know more of the DC members. Everyone was extremely friendly. It was a fantastic night and even better I got to see some more of my Dallas friends.

There was some general kink/leather talk which was very interesting to listen too. Also, many people approached me saying they’d seen this blog or my recon profile, which was awesome to hear. I really don’t expect people I don’t know to read my blog, but I’m glad you do!

I just woke up a bit before the play party started, so I grabbed some food, then headed that way. Dave, my sponsor, sent me the address. The space is in a warehouse that looks much different on the inside than outside. Inside there was an office area, kitchen and social area with some food, then the play space which had many rooms. The main part of the play space consisted of 2 large dungeon-like areas with slings, St Andrew crosses, floating bondage tables, fisting benches, puppy cages and other things you’d just have to see. There were also some scene rooms, such as a medical room, classroom and a prison room.

Dave hadn’t arrived yet, but Mike, another very nice DC member I met, gave me a tour of the space as well as covering different protocols and rules. I was really surprised at how comfortable I felt being there. I had expected to be nervous, but the energy of everyone around was very comforting and welcoming.

Once things got going, I went back into the dungeon and watched some of the scenes going on. Over the day I saw everything including fisting, single-tails, mummification and other things that need far more of an explanation.

I had been relaxing for a bit and chilling in the social area for a bit too when I found an older muscle guy. We talked for about 10 seconds, then went into the medical room where he had a massage table. Yes, if you offer me a message and I like you, it takes almost no convincing to get me naked on a table. We did a lot of what I call Muscle Play – flexing, pinning, punching, etc. Didn’t really get into any BDSM type stuff though. I had a good time, but I didn’t feel a strong connection. I think a HUGE part of that was my expectations for the party. Likely, in a different time and place, things would have been truly amazing.

After we got cleaned up, it was time to watch some more scenes and chat with the guys some more. During the chatting, I found a super hot guy that I had spied at the dinner the night before. He had come with his Sir from Washington DC, and they were both very fucking hot. I was talking the boy Dave and it turns out his Sir was elsewhere at the time, so we headed into the dungeon area. The rest of my story with boy Dave is definitely going to need to be another blog post.

After play time, there was dinner at a local Mexican joint, then went to the Dallas Eagle to talk with boy Dave and his Sir, David some more. A couple other guys had come too and chatted with them. I ended up leaving Dallas at 11pm for the 3 hr drive back to Austin. It was a fantastic weekend.

Now I did make some mistakes through the weekend, and I’m sure I don’t even know what some of them are. I’d like to apologize to everyone and ask for  forgiveness. Life is a journey of learning and I’d prefer to be helped along that journey with a caring hand and wise wisdom.