It hasn’t been until recently that I’ve played with guys where when they say “No! Stop! It’s hurting!”, they actually mean “push me further”. Now, I have experienced it with some boys, but they’ll usually say “more” right after they say “Ow! No!” That type of stuff I can handle.
It was for this reason I’ve never really used safe words in the past. Most subs I’ve played with will send me verbal or non-verbal clues as to what they really want. Most of the time they don’t even realize it, but staring into their eyes, I can usually read it.
With these boys that are screaming “Stop!”, they are wanting to be forcefullypushed passed the limits they think their mind can handle. I enjoy this type of play, but it is taking me a bit to get used to.
Safe words are always good, no matter what type of kinky play you are doing. I always recommend letting the sub pick the keyword though. It must be something they can easily remember in the passion of the moment.
If they don’t have a safe word they like to use, the color system is always great to use and fairly universally accepted and preferred.
Green – Good to go. Maybe even push me further.
Yellow – Getting to be a bit too much. Either ease up or stop what’s going on right at that moment.
Red – Stop everything. It’s way top much and the scene needs to end.
Having a fallback like a safe word helps the sub fall into a space where they can be the helpless victim that’s getting used, abused, raped and tortured while still having a way out if shit hits the fan (literally or figuratively). It’s a good thing.™