Everyone likes to approach hookups, dating and friendships in very different ways. Generally there is one person that is more aggressive in the communication – either they message more often, or control the conversation.
I definitely prefer to be the more aggressive one. I like to be the one that initiates messages about 75% of the time. I do like the other person to initiate contact also though and that is what the other 25% is left for. Message me too often without me starting the conversation, and I’ll feel like you’re needy or feel smothered. I may even just cut off communication if this gets too bad.
With that said, it’s fear that I’m smothering the other person that I like the 75/25 split with initiating contact. It shows that they are still interested. People say things, but for me, actions are far more important.
If you try to dominate the communications with me, you’ll push me away and I probably won’t even realize it until its too late. There was one guy who I said, “I’ll get back to you tonight, I need to go to the gym.” Did he stop messaging me? Nope. And things didn’t turn out well for him.
This all balances out differently with different people, but it is important to acknowledge this or an otherwise good relationship could go to ruins. My 75/25 rule also means that I’m willing to try to suggest plans 3 out of 4 times. If things don’t work out because you’re busy or fell into a coma, that 4th time you should suggest something. Just another sign of showing mutual interest.
Once I have someone and there is a clear and expressed interest from both sides, the balance can definitely shift. I do like a lot of communication, and I’m very much into written communication. If you’re someone I like, I’ll chat with you all day during work and then more at home and the gym. I’m generally clear in my level of communication, how much I like you.