Cuddling on the
Wild Side

Wow, so it’s been over a month since my last post. Sorry y’all. My goal is to post at least once a week. Start prodding me if I don’t keep to that.

I have been reluctant for a long time to accept that I’m a bear/cub. It’s mostly because when I think of bears, I think of overweight guys that may (or may not) be furry. And while that is true to some degree it’s not always true. Bears come in a variety of sizes and shapes including bears, polar bears, otters, wolves, cubs, and a plethora of other creatures that I’ve probably never even heard of. And no, I’m not going to go into what each type is, but this wikipedia article may shed some light on it.

While being a bear is somewhat about looks, it’s also a lot about personality that comes with it. Since I’ve been in Seattle, many of my friends fit into the “bear family”. Even my friends in Austin were mostly part of the bear family. It’s always been where I’ve felt the most comfortable.

I truly came to accept it just this weekend. It started out with buying the wooden bears you see above. They are also leather-scented and they smell amazing. I bought them at Doghouse Leather in Seattle. For a second before I bought them, I was like “do I really want to buy them because they are bears.” Then I just said “fuck it” and bought them. Then today I was at some friends’ birthday party, all of whom are pretty much bears, and realized it was where I fit in and I just need to accept the label and it isn’t something to get hostile about, like I have some times in the past.

There you go, I declare myself a leather/kink muscle bear/cub. I’m not really sure the difference between bears and cubs. I also do like other muscle bears/cubs, especially if they are submissive and pain pigs

It’s been a while since I wrote about myself, mostly because I was busy with my then BF, now ex. We split up last week because things just weren’t working for me. Because of that, I hadn’t been able to write about any new experiences really either. That’s going to change though…

Also, I should backtrack a little bit… right before Christmas, I moved to Seattle WA from Austin TX. I was getting tired of the heat and my (then) BF lived in Seattle. So I made the move and I’m happy to have done it. The job I had when I got here was horrible and sketchy, but I found another new job quickly and I’m very much loving it.

With the move and other stuff, I didn’t have time for the gym, but I’m getting back to it better than ever. Working on my goal to become a 275+ lbs muscle beast.

I’m renting a house here in West Seattle which is large and spacious, it even has a “bonus room” in the basement I’m converting into a dungeon/playroom. It is duplex though and the shared walls are very thin. If anyone has any soundproofing ideas, please let me know!! I’ve been getting the dungeon ready this weekend, and will post some tips for how I did it with pictures once I’m done.

Thank you to everyone that visits my blog, please check out the sponsors as they help keep the site running when you buy things from them using my links. If you’re ever in Seattle, and want to meet up, please let me know.

Also, let me know if there’s anything you’d like me to write more about.

Stockroom is having a New Years deal, and they have some new products. Check them out!

Also, I’m going to try to get posting again here soon. I recently moved from Austin TX to Seattle to be with my man, and am still getting settled in. I start my new job next week.

Please use the link above, or the banner ads on this site when going into Stockroom to purchase thing. I get a percentage of the sales and it helps to keep this site running.

So, I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged, but I didn’t realize it’s been 4 months since I did a real, thoughtful post. Not just some pictures or some other fluff. If you check my last real post, you may be able to figure out why I haven’t been blogging much.

Yup, I got a boyfriend. He’s an awesome guy that lives in Seattle WA. Since we initially met in Minneapolis, I’ve gone up there quite a few times, and we went on a trip to Washington DC to visit some of his friends from before he moved to Seattle. If you’re wanting pics, I posted them all at the bottom.

Not only is he amazing, but he’s my age and a kinky mother fucker. He actually has a lot more experience than I do. Partially because he started to get into everything when he was 18. I didn’t start till 5 yrs later when I was 23.

So, you’re probably like, “he’s in Seattle and you’re in Texas… WTF!” Well, I’m trying to move up to Seattle. I was done with Texas before I met him and now I have a great reason to leave. So, if you know of any graphic design and/or web/php developer positions in the Seattle area, please let me know.

Here’s what I’ve been up to other than chatting on the phone with my sexy beast:

• Enjoying my job, while still looking for one in Seattle
• Got a new 2011 Mustang
• Training my pup (4-legged) Diesel to behave better
• Working out
• Baking a lot
• Made and canned strawberry jam from scratch for the first time

Well, that’s it for now. I’ll do my best to post more. Send me an email if you have any topic suggestions, or just questions. Also, thank you to those that noticed I’d been gone and commented on it somewhere.

Every day we journey through life learning, experiencing and growing. Every now and then we have an opportunity to figure out what’s making us tick. This past weekend I was home in Minneapolis to visit family (I grew up there), and to attend the Bingham Gay Rugby Cup hosted by my home team, the Minneapolis Mayhem.

As I grow older, when I spend time around my family I begin to see and understand why I am the person today. I’ve always known that my family made me into the independent person I am today, but they’ve also helped sculpt my coping mechanisms, social rules and general interests. This weekend was another time to see this and help me to figure out what makes me tick. I’m not going to bore you with the small details, but when you have opportunities like this, take time to look at them from an outside perspective if possible. Understanding why and where you come from can help build you into the person you want to be in the future.

The other portion of this weekend was time spent at the Bingham tournament. There had been a few guys I had chatted with from Facebook and Recon, and wanted to meet up with during Bingham. One was a hottie Facebook friend from California. We had met up almost right away when I got to the tournament. We hung out and actually watched a game that the second guy from the weekend was playing in, which I didn’t realize at the time. We did dinner and eventually made it back to his hotel room.

It was there that I learned a lot about myself. He was more on the vanilla side, and I tried to get him to try the wild side, but he wasn’t very interested. Which I thought would be fine. We made out, we groped each other, licking and sucking everything, but it wasn’t getting my cock going. I was enjoying it and it all felt good, but our mojo wasn’t quite grooving. We ended up cuddling for a bit, which was still great. I’ve been learning recently that sex is very mental for me, and while all the physical activities going on were awesome, my brain wasn’t being turned on. Maybe it was the lack of kink interest that destroyed it, or maybe it wasn’t meant to be… I’m not really sure at this point. He’s a great person, and I’m sure I’ll be seeing him again as a friend.

Later that night, I was out at the rugby event bar for the night and ran into Mike from Seattle. Mike had hit me up on Recon before Bingham, and his kinks mixed with mine EXTREMELY well. So, not only was he kinky, but he was submissive, my age, had a jaw-dropping sexy accent, and a fucking sexy stud. He’s also ginger, for those of you that care. There was a connection from the first moment I met him. I very much enjoy being kinky, sexual and flirty in appropriate public places like a gay bar. He had no problems with this and let me do whatever I want. Mike’s a pain pig and just the thought of that gets me hard.

We stayed together the whole night, wandering the bar, taking time to play a bit, make out, grope and learn more about each other. It was fantastic. Unfortunately, at the end of the night, he had to go back to his full hotel room and I had to go back to my parents. The groping, making out, holding and getting to know each other continued the next day at the tournament followed by dinner and later that night at the bar. I wasn’t able to get too rough with him because I needed to keep him able to play, but we still had fun.

These two guys were both physically my type and even Top/bottom compatible, but there was something there that made things sexually tick with one and not with the other. Mike was able to turn my brain on and that really got me going. He allowed me to learn a bit more about how I tick. I have a feeling Mike is going to be teaching me a lot more about how I tick.

Even as a kid, especially when I was in a comfortable place (physical or not), I would frequently just start dancing. It may have just looked like bobbing back and forth to others, but it was dancing to me. The best part is that there didn’t even have to be music playing. I would just enjoy life and start dancing.

It’s more rare I’ll dance without music now-a-days, but you’ll frequently see me busting a move at the bar standing against the wall or even sometimes out on the dance floor. Don’t start thinking that any chemicals or alcohol are involved in this either. I’m sure if I really wanted to, or cared about what other people thought, I could stop myself. I don’t care what other people think though. I’m having a good time.

Part of this is I have enough confidence to do it. I don’t have to be drunk to get on the dance floor, or approach the guy. Maybe you need to dig down deep in yourself, but when you stop caring what other people think and stop caring if you “fail”, you’ll get things done and enjoy yourself.

Yeah, if you go up and talk to a guy, he may be an asshole and ignore you, but he may also start talking to you. I like to have eye contact first, and that’s one of my barriers. Once I have that though, he’s totally fair game.

Something I’ve come to learn is how fucking sexy confidence truly is. Don’t be timid about what you want, or what you are interested in. Have the confidence to do what you want. You really can’t expect someone else to believe in you, when you don’t even believe in yourself. Find your true self, and bring that person out.

Sorry y’all. I’ve been neglecting the blog, but don’t worry. It’s not you, it’s me.

Nothing bad’s happened. Recently I’ve just been kind of withdrawn from a lot of things. It’s good though, it’s giving me time to think and figure things out. Nothing caused this… it just happens, like a lot of things in life. You just have to make the most of it and work through it.

I’ve gotten some more motivation at the gym though. Mostly through the help of a friend, even though he may not know it. He sent me the picture below because it reminded him of me. I can see it a little in the face, but otherwise I don’t see it at all. For me though, it’s like looking in a mirror and seeing what I could look like. And I really hope I do some day. It’s giving me great motivation to push it hard at the gym. I actually set him as my desktop wallpaper, so I have to stay at him/me every day. Ok, I enjoy it a littlee…

Wish y’all the best! *hugs*

Check out Part 1 of the answers.

What’s your favorite sex toy, gear, and fetish?

How about you try to make me choose my favorite child too. I’m not sure this really counts as a sex toy, but one of my favorite things to use is Icy Hot on a sub’s balls. Love to put it on, with their permission, then just watch them squirm and beg for me to take it off. I might even let them jack off using the Icy Hot if they want.

The harness shown to the right is my favorite piece of gear, especially when I wear it with just a jockstrap and some boots. Gear hasn’t been something I’ve incorporated into sex, but it is definitely something that will get me to go after a guy.

I hinted to one of my favorite fetishes above… CBT – Cock and Ball Torture. I love to play with a sub’s balls and watch him squirm. For a lot of guys it’s something they’ve never done before too, making it more fun. That’s generally my favorite fetish to do, but it really depends on the chemistry between me and the sub.

Your favorite cum control fantasy scene (any duration)

I find chastity to be insanely hot, although I’ve never done it yet. I’d love to find a hot muscle guy to lock up, but then make a game out of it. Have him come over every 4-7 days for the possibility of release from the chastity. When he comes, he’ll roll 2 dice or pick a card from a deck. If it matches what I had previously selected, he’ll get to cum. If not, I may let him out and edge him for a bit, but not actually let him cum. Then once I’m all done, whether I let him cum or not, he gets locked back up in the chastity.

Are you into watersports and have you done porn if so where can I find it?

I’ll do watersports (aka Golden Showers, pissing on/in someone), but it’s not something I’ll look for. If I did find my ideal submissive partner, it would likely become a regular part of what we would do though.

As for porn, nope. I don’t know of any porn that I’m in.

If you have any other questions, feel free to email me.

I put myself out there and let you guys ask me any question you wanted, and I’d answer it honestly. You can still ask me anything too.

This is part 1, look for more parts coming soon.

Note: I think that answered your questions. If not, ask something more specific.

Do you ever bottom or are you only a top? If you never bottom, why not?

I lean towards top, but I wouldn’t really say I’m a top. I tell people I’m a top because trying to explain that you can have sex without fucking is just too much work. I actually don’t fuck too much. I mostly just like to be Dominant.

It’s been almost 2 years since I’ve bottomed. When I first started having sex 3 years ago, I was pretty much only a bottom because guys like my beefy, bubble butt. And really, it doesn’t take that much work to bottom. I’ve learned more about what I like since then, and getting fucked doesn’t really do much for me. If I found the perfect guy that was a Dom top, I’d probably fall into the sub/bottom role, but it’s not something I’m looking for and I’m not sure the guy exists.

Do you consider yourself sexy or average? What is do you consider your best physical attribute?

Fuck yeah I consider myself sexy. I work hard at the gym, try to eat healthy and don’t do drugs or drink to take care of myself and body. To be honest though, it’s self-confidence that makes me feel sexy. Am I perfection I can achieve… hell no, but I’m happy with my body how it is, and I know what I what to do next to get me where I want to be some day.

As for my best physical attribute, I’d say it’s my legs/ass. I never actually realized I had big legs and a nice bubble butt till I started going to gay bars and people told me. So, pretty much I was ignorant of my nice legs/ass I got from lucky genetics.

What fascinates you most about men?

The one thing that I really love about men, as regular followers probably know, is nice thick muscle. I love the way it looks on a guy. I don’t know exactly what it is, maybe it’s the masculinity,  just the solidness, or the idea that someone like that offers a sense of protection. After that, I love a nice fuzzy submissive guy that likes it real rough.

Do you have a favorite city you would like to live or visit?

One of my favorite cities so far is San Francisco. I think I could definitely see myself living there some time. It’s a city filled with masculine, kinky men. How could I not love that? Chicago is another city I’ve been to I could see myself possibly living in, but I grew up in Minneapolis and don’t want to go back to the cold right now.

There are a couple cities I haven’t been to and really want to. On my list are currently, Las Vegas, New York, and Ft Lauderdale/Miami. Luckily I’ll be going to Vegas in Jan with some amazing friends. No plans right now to do NYC or FtL, but hopefully soon.