There’s nothing like ordering a submissive guy around, giving him a punch in the gut and maybe even leave a black eye. There is a problem when those things become non-consensual. A challenge with being in a kink relationship is that the lines between consensual and non-consensual may get blurred, especially if the submissive guy doesn’t feel he’s able to challenge what’s happening. If your partner comes home from a bad day at work and beats the shit out of you – you’re in an abusive relationship.
There is no place for any type of unwanted abuse – physical, emotional, social – in a relationship. It may be a broken rib one time, belittling the next or being told you can’t see your best friend. It may not always leave a physical mark either. If you are in a situation like this, please find a support group that can help you make things better. You may very well even have to leave your partner of untold number of years.
If you suspect someone is in an abusive relationship, the best thing you can do is to be there for them and help them any way you can. You may want them to leave their partner, but that may not be what happens and you still need to be there for them.
Another aspect of gay domestic abuse is the threat of outing someone if they leave their partner. My advice there is that you have someone out there that will help you, whether it’s biological family, chosen family, or other. Being outed, safe and alive is better than any alternative.
If you are being abused and don’t have anyone to reach out to, send me an email or call me – 612-293-6787.
Here’s some other resources. A lot of them say “her” or “she”, but abuse is not gender specific.