Cuddling on the
Wild Side

There’s nothing like ordering a submissive guy around, giving him a punch in the gut and maybe even leave a black eye. There is a problem when those things become non-consensual. A challenge with being in a kink relationship is that the lines between consensual and non-consensual may get blurred, especially if the submissive guy doesn’t feel he’s able to challenge what’s happening. If your partner comes home from a bad day at work and beats the shit out of you – you’re in an abusive relationship.

There is no place for any type of unwanted abuse – physical, emotional, social – in a relationship. It may be a broken rib one time, belittling the next or being told you can’t see your best friend. It may not always leave a physical mark either. If you are in a situation like this, please find a support group that can help you make things better. You may very well even have to leave your partner of untold number of years.

If you suspect someone is in an abusive relationship, the best thing you can do is to be there for them and help them any way you can. You may want them to leave their partner, but that may not be what happens and you still need to be there for them.

Another aspect of gay domestic abuse is the threat of outing someone if they leave their partner. My advice there is that you have someone out there that will help you, whether it’s biological family, chosen family, or other. Being outed, safe and alive is better than any alternative.

If you are being abused and don’t have anyone to reach out to, send me an email or call me – 612-293-6787.

Here’s some other resources. A lot of them say “her” or “she”, but abuse is not gender specific.

Standford
About: Gay Life
Abuse Prevention
Help Letter

This Friday will be a special #CommandoFriday, not only because of the dirty pics, but because it’s a day to celebrate a cause.

Friday, July 31, 2009, will be the first-ever National Commando Day, when people across the nation will heighten awareness for prostate cancer by not wearing underwear.  Each year, more than 28,000 men die from prostate cancer – that’s one death every 19 minutes.  Most prostate cancer cases are treatable with early detection and education.  National Commando Day will bring awareness, funds and a little fun to a serious issue.

Are you going to participate? Don’t forget to tweet your proof with the #CommandoFriday tag. Also, see if you can match or beat my donation of $30.

I look back on all the guys that I’ve played with, dated, been friends with or just known, and there really seems to be a common trend about many of them — a lot of them are HIV+. Now I guess I don’t know if some of them really are, but some signs point to the fact that they are. I’m not a person to ask someone their HIV status, whether a friend or a fuck. For fucks, I just assume everyone is positive. People may fully believe they are negative, and even got tested today, but that doesn’t mean they are. The common HIV tests have a buffer of about 3 months that the test doesn’t include. For friends, it’s not any of my business. They can tell me if they want an feel comfortable, but I’m not going to ask and  it’s not going to change anything.

For dating it has caused some issues, especially at first. As I gain more understanding about HIV and more comfortable with it, things have been going better. I can’t think of any person that’s told me they were positive in person that I shunned away because of that. Now, if they were ugly… that’s a different story.

My other thought is that there are a lot more HIV+ people out there than I realize. Or maybe there are just more in the types of circles I hang out in.

I’m glad that HIV isn’t quite the death sentence it used to be, but it definitely does affect your life in large ways. My generation is seeing HIV in a very different way than the first generations saw it. For a lot of us, it’s an old-gay thing or some think they’ve all died out. Then you have the naive ones that ask and believe the person. Maybe I’m just a cynic, but I won’t believe someone about something that could very much change my life. My generation is being impacted by HIV and reacting to it differently because of everything that’s happened since the first boom. For the older generations, don’t get mad at us because we’re reacting differently, just try to help us understand.

One last factoid from a friend of mine -

More than 1.1 million people in the U.S. are infected with HIV and 232,700 don’t know it.

How many of you have been over at a guys house, he asks you to lay on the ground, then he takes a big shit on you?

No… not you?

Well, yes. Some people are into it, but I’ve never done it. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be aware the precautions in case you are interested in exploring it or if you have a friend looking for some advice.

Shit play encompasses a ‘Brown Rainbow’ of sexual desire. Some scat players are only into the visual aspects, such as watching someone take a dump or looking at an unflushed toilet while aroused. Many are into smearing shit on their bodies. Some like to eat shit. Still others are into ‘Farming’ or gathering shit from public toilets. For most it is probably some combination of these activities. [source]

As with any situation, always take the basic precautions – protection and the (not so common) common sense. Basic precautions in this case could include gloves and possibly a dental dam.

Some other things to know is that scat is that it can transmit HIV and other STIs just like you can with blood. There are some other diseases you can get from scat that you can’t get from a nice juicy white load. Those include include e-coli, Hepatitis A, B and C. So, it’s best if you can get the Hepatitis vaccine if you plan to really get into this. Some of these things can kill you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy this.

There is much more to this than just the precautions, but it’s a place to start. If you have any experience with this, or any questions please let me know.

Hanky color Brown

For all you SF kinksters, check this out.

Daddies, boys, Doms, subs, Tops, bottoms

STOP AIDS Project is hitting the streets again with several new activities and events. We are going where the men meet and want you with us.

Safe, Sane and Consensual have been hallmark values in the leather BD/SM community for decades. STOP AIDS Project is building a team of fetish, kink and leather men to support these values and promote our community’s health and want you with us.

Play parties, workshops on leather BD/SM, events, media campaigns, and that’s just for starters.

If you want to meet new people, do fun activities, get involved in great events, or want to know more about what is coming up, contact us.

Contact: Jorge Vieto 415.575.0150  ext 208
or Email for more information.

Play Safe. Make A Difference. Get Involved. Have Fun.

[source via Twisted Ramblings]

I’m working on adding more kink-related news to the blog. If you happen to know of any good sources, please let me know.

Are you in an HIV pos/neg relationship? It looks like things might not be as bad for you as you may have thought. Basically if you are HIV-negative and giving your HIV-positive partner oral sex, you are helping to build antibodies to his specific virus.

The study, published in the (expensive, subscription only) AIDS journal and helpfully summarised by Aidsmap suggests that men who give lots of blow jobs to their HIV-positive partners develop antibodies specific to that partner’s virus, protecting themselves against infection. The more virus their partner has kicking around in their semen, the higher the concentration of specific antibodies, and the protection seems to last for quite a while too. None of the men became infected over the course of the study, even though their partners were not all on treatment. [source]

Does this mean go have all types of risky activities with him – NO. At least if there is an accident, you’ll be a little safer. This also doesn’t mean that oral sex is 100% safe either. So go ahead and know that with every thrust of his cock into your mouth, you might be building up some antibodies. Be Safe!

A prime example of a guy with Chicken Leg Syndrome

Yes, you’ve all seen it at the gym, the guys that wear long pants at the gym and are always doing chest and arm workouts. They usually suffer from a case of Chicken Leg Syndrome (CLS). It’s a horrible disease where the patient never works out their lower body and instead mistakenly vainly focuses only on their upper body.

There is a quick visual method that can be used for detecting those suffering from CLS. Take a look at the person’s biceps and calf muscles; in most people that suffer from CLS, you will notice that their bicep is larger than their calf muscle. You will see this in the example to the right. There are a few cases where this is an acceptable trait, but those are mostly the exception.

If you, yourself, suffers from CLS, the best cure is to begin including leg workouts in your routine. This may include 1 or more days in your workout cycle. This means doing actual lifts with your legs, not just cardio. Send me an email, or leave a comment and I can recommend some lifts to you.

If you know someone suffering from CLS, please advise them the benefits of working out their lower body. Here are just a few examples:

• Massive increases in your body’s natural testosterone and growth hormone production because your legs are your largest muscle group. This will in turn help the rest of your body grow, including your precious upper body. (source)
• Your legs can easily become your strongest muscle and you’ll attract a lot of attention from hotties when you have your legs press machine maxed out.
• You’ll look good when you’re wearing a swimsuit or naked because you’ll be proportionate. No one wants a top-heavy fuck.

I beg of you, please heed this warning if you suffer from CLS and get some help. It could be a workout partner that has big legs, a different workout routine, or just getting your ass in gear. If you know someone that suffers from CLS, it is your duty to inform them of the benefits of working out their legs to help them as a member of the gym community. Please do your part to stop the disease of CLS from spreading!

I know, I’ve been bad. I meant to post this a couple weeks ago when it happened, but I didn’t. Just slightly over 2 weeks ago, I went to a Naked Yoga class with one of my friends. He’d been doing it for about a year now. It’s an all male class, mostly gay that lasts for about an hour.

I have no problem with my body or being naked around other people, so the idea of being naked didn’t really make me nervous. What I was worried about was actually doing the yoga. I had never done it before and didn’t know much about it other than that there were different types of it. I had no clue what type we were going to do.

I arrived and waited for my friend. We walked into the yoga building together. He paid for me and registered for the class. Then he gave me a tour of the building, which didn’t take long because you could see everything from one spot. Along the wall outside the room was everyone’s shoes, but I didn’t really think anything of this until I walked into the room and didn’t see a pair in sight. Oops.

They had some extra mats for people like me who hadn’t invested in a mat yet. My friend and I laid out our mats next to each other, then proceeded to join everyone else in the room in nakedness. You’re probably want to know, were they old and creepy, or really hot? No. They were all in the average range – some on the hotter side; some on the not hotter side. Both young and old too.

People kept arriving and getting naked. As more people arrived, we had to keep moving our mats closer and closer together to accommodate everyone and eventually rearranged the mats entirely. When class started there was an uncomfortable 20 or so people in the small incense-filled room.

Class began with a quick name and statement from everyone as to why we were there. I just wanted to try something new. The focus for this session was the sexual chakra. We began and went through different movements – seated, standing, one leg with two hands and other contortions. Some I was able to do pretty well, and others not so well. I’m blaming my massive muscularity. With a room full of men, we all tried to do our best to show how manly and over-confident we were. About half way through, I was dripping in sweat like a fire hydrant. It wasn’t because the room was very hot, just because of everything I was doing. Eventually I cooled down only to lay in a pool of my own sweat.

With the room being so packed, I bumped into my neighbors a couple times. At one point we did a partner exercise. Luckily I was paired with my friend. At this point I wasn’t prepared to have a stranger touch my naked body.

Once everything was done, they passed around some good, yet healthy cookies, carrots and some chai tea. Everyone stuck around and chatted a bit. Overall, it was a good experience and something I’d do again. Many parts reminded me of things we’d done during my college Aikido martial arts classes.

Did I feel like a piece of meat? Not really. There were times where I felt like guys were looking at me, but not as bad as a gay bar or nude beach. I’d recommend you try it.