Cuddling on the
Wild Side

If you’re scratching your head and wondering what the Old Guard is, you’re not alone. It’s been explained to me multiple times by different people, but I still don’t understand it mostly because like most terminology – everyone has their own definition.

Here’s something that may help to explain it some:

The Leatherman’s Handbook by Larry Townsend, published in 1972, epitomizes the association of the leather subculture with BDSM.^[3] This book also encoded what is called old guard leather culture. This code emphasized strict formality and fixed roles (i.e. no switching). Other old guard practices emphasize discipline, honor, brotherhood, and respect, and are said to promote a stricter lifestyle, education, and intra-community privilege based on successive ranks or levels.
[wikipedia]

The Leatherman’s Handbook is something I’ve had many people recommend I read. The problem is it doesn’t seem to be in print any more. I’ve seen used copies of the book ranging in price from $20 – $100. If the Old Guard is alive and vibrant, how can the book that embodies it be scarce?

One of the largest problems I see with the leather/kink/bdsm community is a lack of accessibility. If you want to get people in the Information Age interested in something, you need to give them information so they can learn about it and it needs to be in an accessible format. I’m not saying you need to teach them everything, or put it all out there, but if the Old Guard is going to stay alive, there needs to be some type of Old Guard 101.

Do I believe that definition of Old Guard above is correct? No, but I do think parts of it are valuable. I think tradition, brotherhood, respect and other aspects of it are very valuable. Strictness, formality and unbendable structure I do have a problem with though.

I’m a person that values order, but there are always exceptions. Just because I usually label myself as a Dom doesn’t mean the perfect man might stroll by and turn me into a raging sub. If I was to be so rigid and deny what something in me may want, that would be just ludicrous. Now don’t get any ideas that you’re going to turn me into that raging sub. I’m not denying that that part of me is there, but it would truly take the perfect man to bring it out.

If people of the Old Guard want it to survive, they better take a hint from religion. If you want your group to prosper you need to reproduce, create large families and teach them your ways, then let them off into the world to do the same thing. No, this is not some ex-gay movement, but you get the idea.

One thing religion does that I think scares people away is puts some things in a cloud of mystery. Once again, this is the Information Age where people like to be able to understand everything. With kink, there is a lot that has to be learned through experience, but a person can go into that experience educated so they can come out understanding it better.

I also see the Old Guard like the founding fathers of the US. They had great ideas that were appropriate for the time and set an amazing foundation for a nation to grow and mature. Many of the traditions and rules that were created then are still around today, but they have also changed, evolved and improved.

The leather/kink/bdsm community has done the same and will continue to change. It’s just a matter if the people are willing to change and evolve with it.

Your version of sex is just not sex. Did something bad happen to you growing up to make you want to inflict pain on another and call it sex?

I got that message from a guy on adam4adam.com. Now really… what the fuck? Check out my profile and take a look.

Yeah, I’m a kinky fucker, but I have a feeling you probably already know that. What would make “my version” of sex, not sex? For me, “sex” is using sexual energies to make a connection with someone. Does it mean that either of us has to blow a load, or someone get’s fucked? Not at all. It’s been a long time since I’ve fucked someone, and a LOT longer since I’ve gotten fucked. Fucking just isn’t a part of what I regularly do for sex. Kinky/BDSM sex often generates a much stronger connection between the people because of the amount of trust it takes between the people. The only thing I’m hoping when kissing another guy is they don’t have mouth herpes or bad breathe.

Has my upbringing affected who I am as a sexual person today? I’m sure it did somehow, but I have no clue how. Yes, my parents were both very dominant, and if I didn’t become as equally as dominant and independent, I would be a push-over. Being gay and having an older brother who got all the attention until he left for college also helped me become very independent.

I was never physically punished as a child. Then again, I was always kind of an outsider through high school, and I did have a couple of bullies. I never got into any physical fights with them though. Actually, I’ve never been in a physical fight with anyone, other than maybe my brother, but that was usually us chasing each other.

To be honest, my whole upbringing was pretty uneventful. I was in the Boy Scouts,  got my Eagle Scout award, and worked at a Boy Scout camp for 6 years. I’ve always naturally fallen into a leadership role, so that may explain why I tend towards being Dominant. It still doesn’t explain my innate interest in kink though, and I’m fine with that.

I can definitely tell you how I found out I was interested in kinky shit in one word. Porn. Yes, it was the wonderful world of downloaded kinky porn that showed my that watching a muscle guy get his ball beat got me rock hard. Seeing a nice fist go up his muscle ass and listening to him moan… yup, hard again.

To the person who sent me that message – if you’re passionate and romantic sex can be sex, why can’t my animalistic and yet intellectual sessions be sex?

Oh, and did I mention, he said he’s conservative in his profile.

The Stonewall Inn in 1969. On the Window: "We homosexuals plead with our people to please help maintain peaceful and quiet conduct on the streets of the Village—Mattachine"

This weekend is the big Pride weekend where a lot of people will be out in their cities having a grand time. Try asking some of them, old and young if they know what caused the start of Pride celebrations.

Hopefully you’ve heard at least a little something about the Stonewall Riots. This year is the 40th anniversary of the riots. Pride celebrations happen in honor of the Stonewall Riots. It’s a little scary how few people know some of the major points in gay history. To me it’s a little like not knowing who won the Civil War. I’m not saying you need to know every aspect, but know at least the jist.

The Stonewall riots were a series of spontaneous, violent demonstrations against a police raid that took place in the early morning hours of June 28, 1969 at the Stonewall Inn, in the Greenwich Village neighborhood of New York City. They are frequently cited as the first instance in American history when gays and lesbians fought back against a government-sponsored system that persecuted homosexuals, and they have become the defining event that marked the start of the gay rights movement in the United States and around the world.

American gays and lesbians in the 1950s and 1960s faced a legal system more anti-homosexual than those of some Warsaw Pact countries.^{[note 1][2]} Early homophile groups in the U.S. sought to prove that gay people could be assimilated into society, and they favored non-confrontational education for homosexuals and heterosexuals alike. The last years of the 1960s, however, were very contentious, as many social movements were active, including the African American Civil Rights Movement, the Counterculture of the 1960s, and antiwar demonstrations. These influences, along with the liberal environment of Greenwich Village, served as catalysts for the Stonewall riots.

Very few establishments welcomed openly gay people in the 1950s and 1960s. Those that did were often bars, although bar owners and managers were rarely gay. The Stonewall Inn, at the time, was owned by the Mafia.^[3][4] It catered to an assortment of patrons, but it was known to be popular with the most marginalized people in the gay community: transvestites, effeminate young men, hustlers, and homeless youth. Police raids on gay bars were routine in the 1960s, but officers quickly lost control of the situation at the Stonewall Inn, and attracted a crowd that was incited to riot. Tensions between New York City police and gay residents of Greenwich Village erupted into more protests the next evening, and again several nights later. Within weeks, Village residents quickly organized into activist groups to concentrate efforts on establishing places for gays and lesbians to be open about their sexual orientation without fear of being arrested.

After the Stonewall riots, gays and lesbians in New York City faced gender, class, and generational obstacles to becoming a cohesive community. Within six months, two gay activist organizations were formed in New York, concentrating on confrontational tactics, and three newspapers were established to promote rights for gays and lesbians. Within a few years, gay rights organizations were founded across the U.S. and the world. On June 28, 1970, the first Gay Pride marches took place in Los Angeles and New York commemorating the anniversary of the riots. Similar marches were organized in other cities; today Gay Pride events are held annually throughout the world toward the end of June to mark the Stonewall riots. [Source: Wikipedia]

There is much, much more out there on Wikipedia and many other places. Educate yourself and find out about your history.

If you’ve been out at gay bars and events for long enough, or just in the right crowd soon enough, there is a good chance you’ve seen someone with a hanky or bandanna in their back pocket. The color of that hanky usually has a meaning. If you’re on a ranch or a similar situation, it’s probably just meant to be a bandanna, so ignore everything below. Check out our Hanky Code Guide for a comprehensive and easy to use guide. These same colors apply other things like leather armbands, piping on pants and jock straps. So next time you wear a red jockstrap to a leather bar, you might want to check out what it means.

The origins of the Hanky Code:

It all began back in the early 70′s with an article in the Village Voice. The Village Voice is an alternative paper that has been published in New York’s Greenwich Village since 1955. They published a story saying that gays in the bars in the village would have an easier time picking each other up if there were a better system than keys left and right. They suggested going to the surplus store at Christopher and Washington and buying the Levi bandanas. There were only a few colors suggested: red, navy, light blue, green, and black; because that was all there was for sale in that store at the time. The article was meant as a joke, but the community took it to heart. Shortly after that bandanas started to appear in back pockets all over the Village. Over time, more colors were added and use of the “hanky code” spread beyond New York. [source]

The Hanky Code can be a very useful method for finding out what a person may be into. The problem is just like Tea Leaves, it’s all up to the interpretation which can easily be very different from what the flagger intended. One example is an orange hanky. This will generally mean “up for anything”, but does that mean in the left pocket they are a top and the right they are a bottom? Or does it mean that in the left they are “up for anything” and in the right they are not looking?

The other issue I have with the Hanky Code is that just because someone is flagging for something, doesn’t mean that’s the only thing they are interested in. So even if someone is flagging red, for fisting, that doesn’t mean they might not be up for some CBT play or watersports. Also, just because they are flagging right, doesn’t mean they are only a bottom. It may just means that’s what they would like to find that night. They still may find you interesting enough to go home with even if you don’t match their flag.

The great thing about the Hanky Code is that it can strike up a good conversation. If you see someone flagging, even if you know what it means, it allows you to walk up and ask them, “I see you’re flagging blue, that’s for fucking, right?”. Then later you can ask “So, what else are you into?” You might not want to start with those lines, but you could go there pretty quickly.

Check out our Hanky Code Guide for a full run-down of all the different colors/materials/etc.