Cuddling on the
Wild Side

Executive Committee of International Mr. Leather has decided that it will no longer allow participation in the IML Leather Market by any entity which promotes barebacking or distributes/sells any merchandise tending to promote or advocate barebacking. [Source: Vendor Memo via Will Clark World]

Read the full article.

Picture yourself at IML 2010. You’re walking through the Leather Market, and you’ll notice that there are a couple of booths not there. Looking through the IML pamphlets and cards, you won’t see anything advocating barebacking. Stop in a hotel room, and the barebacking will likely be at the same level it has been in past years.

First of all, what’s wrong with barebacking? It greatly increases your chance of getting any number of STD including HIV. You could always of course trust the guy you met 5 minutes ago in the lobby when he tells you he’s negative. I don’t take that risk though. Then there is always the chance of getting pregnant… wait, wrong audience, but pulling out still doesn’t work in this case. Between men that are aware of all the risks involved, I don’t really have a problem with barebacking. My generation hasn’t been affected by the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the same way older generations have. For a lot of us, it’s just like walking across a busy intersection – you are pretty sure you’ll make it across safe.

The effects of this decision on the Leather Community are likely going to be relatively small. The same number of people are going to participate in barebacking. Porn studios may, but probably won’t, change their videos to reduce the number of barebacking porn they produce.

What are the effects going to be? Is it going to be good, or make barebacking something people feel ashamed of and have to hide?

I look back on all the guys that I’ve played with, dated, been friends with or just known, and there really seems to be a common trend about many of them — a lot of them are HIV+. Now I guess I don’t know if some of them really are, but some signs point to the fact that they are. I’m not a person to ask someone their HIV status, whether a friend or a fuck. For fucks, I just assume everyone is positive. People may fully believe they are negative, and even got tested today, but that doesn’t mean they are. The common HIV tests have a buffer of about 3 months that the test doesn’t include. For friends, it’s not any of my business. They can tell me if they want an feel comfortable, but I’m not going to ask and  it’s not going to change anything.

For dating it has caused some issues, especially at first. As I gain more understanding about HIV and more comfortable with it, things have been going better. I can’t think of any person that’s told me they were positive in person that I shunned away because of that. Now, if they were ugly… that’s a different story.

My other thought is that there are a lot more HIV+ people out there than I realize. Or maybe there are just more in the types of circles I hang out in.

I’m glad that HIV isn’t quite the death sentence it used to be, but it definitely does affect your life in large ways. My generation is seeing HIV in a very different way than the first generations saw it. For a lot of us, it’s an old-gay thing or some think they’ve all died out. Then you have the naive ones that ask and believe the person. Maybe I’m just a cynic, but I won’t believe someone about something that could very much change my life. My generation is being impacted by HIV and reacting to it differently because of everything that’s happened since the first boom. For the older generations, don’t get mad at us because we’re reacting differently, just try to help us understand.

One last factoid from a friend of mine -

More than 1.1 million people in the U.S. are infected with HIV and 232,700 don’t know it.

I’m working on adding more kink-related news to the blog. If you happen to know of any good sources, please let me know.

Are you in an HIV pos/neg relationship? It looks like things might not be as bad for you as you may have thought. Basically if you are HIV-negative and giving your HIV-positive partner oral sex, you are helping to build antibodies to his specific virus.

The study, published in the (expensive, subscription only) AIDS journal and helpfully summarised by Aidsmap suggests that men who give lots of blow jobs to their HIV-positive partners develop antibodies specific to that partner’s virus, protecting themselves against infection. The more virus their partner has kicking around in their semen, the higher the concentration of specific antibodies, and the protection seems to last for quite a while too. None of the men became infected over the course of the study, even though their partners were not all on treatment. [source]

Does this mean go have all types of risky activities with him – NO. At least if there is an accident, you’ll be a little safer. This also doesn’t mean that oral sex is 100% safe either. So go ahead and know that with every thrust of his cock into your mouth, you might be building up some antibodies. Be Safe!