Cuddling on the
Wild Side

You sure sound like one. Creepy!!!

Sunday evening – i’ve seen you a couple of times and was psyched to see you there today (tall, cap sometimes or dew rag).
You were helping that lady who dropped her weight on the floor. Listeing to you speak
gave me goosebumps – not only are you hot but you sound smart. I was going to walk up to you and
ask how tall you are – always been turned on by taller dudes. Was trying to cruise you while you were in the shower but you
were in your own world. I wish I would have taken a pic of your tight bod and (gulp) impressive manhood. I think the three guys
who kept pretending to tie their shoes/wash their hands right next to you invaded your space. I tried to follow you out of the gym and in my car but
you speed off in your sportscar and I couldn’t tell which direction you went. I promise I’m not a stalker. Really, I’m not. Just thought it would be cool to say hi.
I hope I’ll see you again

[Craigs List - Missed Connections]

If you’re trying not to stalk someone, I’d recommend not following them like a stalker.

Looking to meet people online, but not getting the amount of responses you want? There is one simple way to just that… post a better picture and check out my guide to profile writing.

The site that did this analysis is a straight-oriented site, but I have a feeling it’s not that much different for gays.

Similarly, OKCupid found that photos posted by your typical meathead are pretty successful among women as well. With an overall average just below 6 women met per 10 attempts, men who posted photos without their shirts on met almost 9 women—an average only bested by photos taken with an animal. The site warns, however, that the entertainment value of a half naked man only lasts for so long; as a guy gets older, he’s less likely to get a response out of women with such a picture.

[Source]

So it sounds like if you want to get the most traffic to your profile, you should post a shirtless picture of you with an animal. Your own animal would be best.

And if you feel like people never respond to your messages that you send out, you really shouldn’t. You have a better chance of getting a winning hand in blackjack than having someone respond.

According to OKCupid, the average chance that any message will lead to a back-and-forth discussion is at about 27 percent, but a photo of a person doing something interesting (say, playing an instrument, playing a sport, crafting something, etc.) is much higher at a hair over 40 percent. Second to that is posing with an animal (hey, people like animals, okay?) at about 37 percent, while a travel photo sits at just over 30 percent. The categories that are below average for conversations are cleavage shots, MySpace angles, having fun with friends, and most dooming of all, photos of the subject drinking.

[Source]

From the views of a single man…

Youve got mail!

There’s a strong allure about hookup sites like Manhunt, adam4adam, Recon, Grindr, etc. It’s taken me a surprisingly long time to figure it out and truly admit what that allure is. Lots of times I’ll stay logged in for the chance that someone I’m interested in will message me, but that rarely happens. I’ll check back after leaving it on for a couple hours and I’ll see 3-4 messages. I’ll cycle through them and depending on my mood, not respond or just the don’t-message-me-again “Thanks”.

It’s the same reason people pan for gold, shop the bargain rack, or go gambling… there’s the chance that you might get lucky and f ind what you are looking for, or in some cases that they’ll find you.

The true reason is the feeling of being desired. Yeah, it’s great to have someone you know tell you that you’re a good person and how much they like you, but often it looses it’s effect over time. Maybe there’s an endorphin reaction to explain it, but it seems like when someone new finds you attractive and find you them attractive, it leaves a better feeling. That initial spark can create an amazing feeling, but then there is the game of whether it continues or fades off into oblivion as if it never happened.

Am I looking for a boyfriend? As much as I want to say “no”, I really am. I’m not desperate and I’m not going to settle, but it would be nice to find one. Maybe it’s just the cold weather, as this is the nesting season, but I hope that’s not the case.

Am I going to find a boyfriend online? Probably not, but in my mind there is always that chance and that’s what drives me to log on. I’m trying to get away from the online hookup world. I’ll still actively visit sites like BigMuscle and Recon, mostly because they aren’t quick hookup sites, and you really can’t meet local guys on them.

To me, the real question is where do you meet guys. There’s always the bars, coffee shops and the gym. The bars did work for me once, but I had to go to a different city for that. As for what else, I don’t really know.

The other question is what do I do with the time that I’m not surfing hookup sites. It’s kind of scary how much time I spend/waste doing it.

Now, if all those boys are lined up knocking on your door to have sex… you better have an orgy, or at least send the others to my place while you’re working on the first one.

I was looking through some profiles, and I’ve seen this like a million times – “if you have (some trait), step to the front of the line.” Do you really have a line?? Because I sure as hell know I don’t have any line of guys waiting to have sex with me that I’m interested in.

Also, are you really ever going to even let the guys at the “back” of the line get in the door? Pretty sure if I lined up the type of guys and things I like in a guy, I probably wouldn’t even touch anything past the first 10%.

Tell people what you like, but don’t make them feel like they are taking a number at a service counter. A) It makes you look like a whore. B) It belittles them  and turns them into more of an object. I know some guys like that, but wait till they message you first.

It’s your time to ask me a question about anything… sexual or otherwise. Maybe you want to know more about me or more about some topic.

Send me an email or leave a comment and I’ll answer it.

Hey everyone,

It looks like everything with the blog is fully working now. My host has been pretty great for the 7 yrs I’ve had them. I’d still highly recommend them, especially for their low prices, despite this outage. It just reminds me that I need to make sure I have good, complete backups of all my files.

Other than a little work on that, this weekend I finally got some real action for the first time in over a month. It was with a guy that I’d been chatting with on Grindr for about a week now. We’d chatted before somewhere, but not sure what happened back then. I just know he was in my Yahoo Messenger already.

He’s a hot guy that’s ready to explore his submissive side, and I’m willing to help him. I told him, he has the easy job… just do what he’s told. He hadn’t been feeling well, and had to cancel. It frustrated me a little, but eventually he was feeling well enough to stop over to meet and a little bit of fun.

Being he wasn’t at 100% and it was late, so I was tired, we didn’t do too much. Just some nip and ball torture, and skull fucking. I also locked my chain collar on his neck, which looked great and he was sad when I took it off him. I ended up shooting a nice big 4 day load down his throat, but being that he was a bad boy and made me wait to meet, I didn’t let him blow.

Once we were all done though, he dropped the bombshell on me… he has a boyfriend. He seems like a great guy, that I would definitely consider dating, but looks like that opportunity isn’t there any more. All of the good, hot guys always seem to already have men. I’m fine being single, but the guys I am interested in dating just aren’t available.

He apparently felt like it was my job to ask the question based on the way he told me. I feel more like it’s his job to disclose that if it’s going to cause some problems. He’s definitely a nice guy, and very obedient. I’ll definitely be meeting up with him again, despite the BF thing.

I found another pic of me on Guys with iPhones.

So, it’s not often I actually see pics of me around the internet, but it looks like someone took some pics I posted on Twitter and submitted them to Guys with iPhones.

Here are the photos below, click on them to view/leave some comments.

I like my sex energetic, rough and sadistic… alright… I said it.

I’m sure most of you knew that, or at least you do now. Well, last night I went and hooked up with a guy that visits Austin a couple times a year. This is the second time we met up, and I should have taken clues from the first time.

He said he wanted to be my bitch, wanted me to choke him, leave bruises on him, make him lick my boots. As we get closer to actually playing his attitude becomes a lot more vanilla, and once we start actually playing, he might as well be a plow up sex doll. He likes being choked, and he likes be fucked. That seems to be about it because when I try to do anything more he starts crying like a girl – not in the hot “I’m going to make you my bitch whether you want it or not” way either.

He likes to spend maybe 20-30 minutes fooling around and having sex, then he’s done. I have an hour minimum for having sex. After 30 min, you’re just getting to the good foreplay. I’m in for the long haul when I have sex, not some quickie that would be better served by Mr Right Hand or my FleshJack.

I’m pretty sure the guy is just a slut though. As soon as I shot my load down his throat and all over his face, he ran to the bathroom to wipe it up and take a shower. Leaving me just sitting there. He was in there for about 5 min, so I got my things together and got dressed. When I was cleaning up I noticed another condom in the trash… ugh. His hole wasn’t that tight either. He probably didn’t want me to bruise him or anything because he had to make the other guys he was going to play with later feel like they were the only ones.

Would I play with him again… probably not. Unless he truly lets me go all the way, I’ll be too bored.

When I message guys on hookup sites one of the first questions I ask is “Do you like to get kinky?” Recently I’ve been getting guys that respond with “I don’t do unsafe” or “I’m partying and only get kinky when I’m partying.”

Now what is it about being kinky that causes people to think that I want to be unsafe or PNP (Party And Play – use drugs on have sex). In my profiles, it says “Safe Only” and “No PNP”. I realize some guys don’t read that, but it feels more like they are associating kinky sex with PNP or unsafe sex.

It really does seem like there is a general understanding even within the BDSM/kink community that unsafe sex is common and almost expected. I don’t have a big problem with two informed and consenting adults making a decision to have unsafe sex, but when it’s thought to be expected and common place; I find that unacceptable.

Please play smart whether you play safe or not, and realize that the best way to play kinky is to play smart and safe.

Also, check out this amazing pamphlet – Safer BDSM Booklet July 2009 by the AIDS Committee of Toronto.

longest ive pounded is 17 minutes straight pounding different positions

[Source: Craigs List ad response]

Now, is that really something to brag about?

I’ll give you the whole ad here, but why is a top responding to another tops ad? And who really measures their ass.

25 yo masc top hisp/blk 8″ ddf i’d do it all all chores……but liv n salado……big guy like u……hav 2 live outside austn 4 me to get 2 u…….stats..44 chest 36 waist 46 ass….really wnt to fuk u if ur ddf and hiv neg…..nsa…if u hav nice feet like to lick them n suck ur toes….id suck those nps 2 but wuld luv 2 see that hot big ass n pound it……longest ive pounded is 17 minutes straight pounding different positions

Your version of sex is just not sex. Did something bad happen to you growing up to make you want to inflict pain on another and call it sex?

I got that message from a guy on adam4adam.com. Now really… what the fuck? Check out my profile and take a look.

Yeah, I’m a kinky fucker, but I have a feeling you probably already know that. What would make “my version” of sex, not sex? For me, “sex” is using sexual energies to make a connection with someone. Does it mean that either of us has to blow a load, or someone get’s fucked? Not at all. It’s been a long time since I’ve fucked someone, and a LOT longer since I’ve gotten fucked. Fucking just isn’t a part of what I regularly do for sex. Kinky/BDSM sex often generates a much stronger connection between the people because of the amount of trust it takes between the people. The only thing I’m hoping when kissing another guy is they don’t have mouth herpes or bad breathe.

Has my upbringing affected who I am as a sexual person today? I’m sure it did somehow, but I have no clue how. Yes, my parents were both very dominant, and if I didn’t become as equally as dominant and independent, I would be a push-over. Being gay and having an older brother who got all the attention until he left for college also helped me become very independent.

I was never physically punished as a child. Then again, I was always kind of an outsider through high school, and I did have a couple of bullies. I never got into any physical fights with them though. Actually, I’ve never been in a physical fight with anyone, other than maybe my brother, but that was usually us chasing each other.

To be honest, my whole upbringing was pretty uneventful. I was in the Boy Scouts,  got my Eagle Scout award, and worked at a Boy Scout camp for 6 years. I’ve always naturally fallen into a leadership role, so that may explain why I tend towards being Dominant. It still doesn’t explain my innate interest in kink though, and I’m fine with that.

I can definitely tell you how I found out I was interested in kinky shit in one word. Porn. Yes, it was the wonderful world of downloaded kinky porn that showed my that watching a muscle guy get his ball beat got me rock hard. Seeing a nice fist go up his muscle ass and listening to him moan… yup, hard again.

To the person who sent me that message – if you’re passionate and romantic sex can be sex, why can’t my animalistic and yet intellectual sessions be sex?

Oh, and did I mention, he said he’s conservative in his profile.

I’m trying to build up my blog list, especially if there are any kink-related blogs. Post me a comment with a link to your blog and any blogs you think I should check out.

Thanks!
The Cuddler

I was reading a post on one of my Twitter friend’s blog, and it spurred this post. It’s not a secret, I’m on quite a few websites out there. I’m not going to tell you which ones, but I’m sure you could find me pretty easily if you really wanted too.

Gooster mentions Bear411, in his blog and he has had a fairly different experience there than I have for the most part. I would say that 90-95% of the messages that I receive fall into the “You’re hot” category. Those messages will evoke a couple different responses from me:

The best way to get me to respond is to ask me a question that requires more than a one word answer. Fuck, just ask me a question at all and that’ll improve your chances. I will almost always respond even if I’m not interested. If you’re local, I may even meet up with you if I’m not attracted to you. Just be weary that I will be honest if you ask me if you’re my type. I try not to lie about it, you’re the one that asked. If you have any suggestions on sending effective messages, please let me know.

The other part of Gooster’s post was friends vs hook-ups. It’s very rare I’m looking for just a hook-up. I would greatly prefer to be friends over strictly fuck buds with most guys I meet. When I go to meet any person, I meet them with the plan to become friends. If fucking happens, that’s usually just a bonus, and rarely does it happen again. Not very sure why.

The bottom line is… If you’re attractive (in my eyes) and you message me, there is a very good chance I’ll respond and you better too. If not, I hope you’re fine with just being friends.