The problem I have is with pictures especially. There’s guys that will message me online, and their pictures will look alright, but nothing really strikes me about them. Sometimes I don’t even respond to these people if they message me. Then I’ll see them in person, and they generally look the same, but there is something about them that does strike me. It could just be their natural charisma, their mannerisms, or something else, but at that point I want to get to know them better.

It could also just be that I wasn’t in a good or social mood when you messaged me. There are many reasons why I don’t respond, and unless I was an ass to you online, I ask that you give me a 2nd chance in person.

In person I’m generally pretty clear if I like you. Not always saying that I want to have sex with you, but friends are always good too. If I’m touching you for more than a couple seconds, it’s a good sign. If I’m avoiding eye contact and talk to you for less than 2-3 minutes, it’s a bad sign, unless I just got to the bar and I’m looking for some friends.

So give me a second chance if you see me in person, and forgive me if I don’t recognize you from your profile. Also, I’ll do my best to give you a second chance in person, but if things still don’t click… it happens.

No related posts.

I was looking for a cattle prod and found this one, and then I looked down at the “Customers who bought this also bought…” section and I see 2 books called “Two Knotty Boys Show You the Ropes”. Yes, the kinksters love their Amazon.

You can actually find a good variety of things on there – dildos, pumps, jockstraps, and more. Check it out and let me know if you find anything particularly good.

Related posts:

1. Twitter: Wow… they sell poppers on Amazon – http://amzn.to/df8LKd
2. Need Experienced Kinksters

Sunday evening – i’ve seen you a couple of times and was psyched to see you there today (tall, cap sometimes or dew rag).
You were helping that lady who dropped her weight on the floor. Listeing to you speak
gave me goosebumps – not only are you hot but you sound smart. I was going to walk up to you and
ask how tall you are – always been turned on by taller dudes. Was trying to cruise you while you were in the shower but you
were in your own world. I wish I would have taken a pic of your tight bod and (gulp) impressive manhood. I think the three guys
who kept pretending to tie their shoes/wash their hands right next to you invaded your space. I tried to follow you out of the gym and in my car but
you speed off in your sportscar and I couldn’t tell which direction you went. I promise I’m not a stalker. Really, I’m not. Just thought it would be cool to say hi.
I hope I’ll see you again

[Craigs List - Missed Connections]

If you’re trying not to stalk someone, I’d recommend not following them like a stalker.

No related posts.

The site that did this analysis is a straight-oriented site, but I have a feeling it’s not that much different for gays.

Similarly, OKCupid found that photos posted by your typical meathead are pretty successful among women as well. With an overall average just below 6 women met per 10 attempts, men who posted photos without their shirts on met almost 9 women—an average only bested by photos taken with an animal. The site warns, however, that the entertainment value of a half naked man only lasts for so long; as a guy gets older, he’s less likely to get a response out of women with such a picture.

[Source]

So it sounds like if you want to get the most traffic to your profile, you should post a shirtless picture of you with an animal. Your own animal would be best.

And if you feel like people never respond to your messages that you send out, you really shouldn’t. You have a better chance of getting a winning hand in blackjack than having someone respond.

According to OKCupid, the average chance that any message will lead to a back-and-forth discussion is at about 27 percent, but a photo of a person doing something interesting (say, playing an instrument, playing a sport, crafting something, etc.) is much higher at a hair over 40 percent. Second to that is posing with an animal (hey, people like animals, okay?) at about 37 percent, while a travel photo sits at just over 30 percent. The categories that are below average for conversations are cleavage shots, MySpace angles, having fun with friends, and most dooming of all, photos of the subject drinking.

[Source]

Related posts:

1. Twitter: Profile Peeve #39: People that contradict themselves in their own profile. So, you are really both 5’10 and 6’0???
2. How to Write an Online Profile for Gays
3. Twitter: Profile Peeve #38: Not having any photos yourself, then asking me to send more than the 5 I already have there.

Youve got mail!

There’s a strong allure about hookup sites like Manhunt, adam4adam, Recon, Grindr, etc. It’s taken me a surprisingly long time to figure it out and truly admit what that allure is. Lots of times I’ll stay logged in for the chance that someone I’m interested in will message me, but that rarely happens. I’ll check back after leaving it on for a couple hours and I’ll see 3-4 messages. I’ll cycle through them and depending on my mood, not respond or just the don’t-message-me-again “Thanks”.

It’s the same reason people pan for gold, shop the bargain rack, or go gambling… there’s the chance that you might get lucky and f ind what you are looking for, or in some cases that they’ll find you.

The true reason is the feeling of being desired. Yeah, it’s great to have someone you know tell you that you’re a good person and how much they like you, but often it looses it’s effect over time. Maybe there’s an endorphin reaction to explain it, but it seems like when someone new finds you attractive and find you them attractive, it leaves a better feeling. That initial spark can create an amazing feeling, but then there is the game of whether it continues or fades off into oblivion as if it never happened.

Am I looking for a boyfriend? As much as I want to say “no”, I really am. I’m not desperate and I’m not going to settle, but it would be nice to find one. Maybe it’s just the cold weather, as this is the nesting season, but I hope that’s not the case.

Am I going to find a boyfriend online? Probably not, but in my mind there is always that chance and that’s what drives me to log on. I’m trying to get away from the online hookup world. I’ll still actively visit sites like BigMuscle and Recon, mostly because they aren’t quick hookup sites, and you really can’t meet local guys on them.

To me, the real question is where do you meet guys. There’s always the bars, coffee shops and the gym. The bars did work for me once, but I had to go to a different city for that. As for what else, I don’t really know.

The other question is what do I do with the time that I’m not surfing hookup sites. It’s kind of scary how much time I spend/waste doing it.

Related posts:

1. What’s your darkest sex desire ?
2. Chastity Roulette: Let chance lock up your cock

Now, if all those boys are lined up knocking on your door to have sex… you better have an orgy, or at least send the others to my place while you’re working on the first one.

I was looking through some profiles, and I’ve seen this like a million times – “if you have (some trait), step to the front of the line.” Do you really have a line?? Because I sure as hell know I don’t have any line of guys waiting to have sex with me that I’m interested in.

Also, are you really ever going to even let the guys at the “back” of the line get in the door? Pretty sure if I lined up the type of guys and things I like in a guy, I probably wouldn’t even touch anything past the first 10%.

Tell people what you like, but don’t make them feel like they are taking a number at a service counter. A) It makes you look like a whore. B) It belittles them  and turns them into more of an object. I know some guys like that, but wait till they message you first.

Related posts:

1. Twitter: This is the worst spam chat msg ever – “i’m rather busy but if you care to drop me a line to say hello i’ll happily reply.”
2. Twitter: I think I’m too aggressive with guys for my own good, but I don’t really know how else to be.
3. Twitter: Some guys think I’m not going to like them sexually because of their age… No, it’s because your 80 lbs overweight.

Send me an email or leave a comment and I’ll answer it.

Related posts:

1. Need Experienced Kinksters
2. Yup, I’m Still Alive
3. Whipping Post Added

It looks like everything with the blog is fully working now. My host has been pretty great for the 7 yrs I’ve had them. I’d still highly recommend them, especially for their low prices, despite this outage. It just reminds me that I need to make sure I have good, complete backups of all my files.

Other than a little work on that, this weekend I finally got some real action for the first time in over a month. It was with a guy that I’d been chatting with on Grindr for about a week now. We’d chatted before somewhere, but not sure what happened back then. I just know he was in my Yahoo Messenger already.

He’s a hot guy that’s ready to explore his submissive side, and I’m willing to help him. I told him, he has the easy job… just do what he’s told. He hadn’t been feeling well, and had to cancel. It frustrated me a little, but eventually he was feeling well enough to stop over to meet and a little bit of fun.

Being he wasn’t at 100% and it was late, so I was tired, we didn’t do too much. Just some nip and ball torture, and skull fucking. I also locked my chain collar on his neck, which looked great and he was sad when I took it off him. I ended up shooting a nice big 4 day load down his throat, but being that he was a bad boy and made me wait to meet, I didn’t let him blow.

Once we were all done though, he dropped the bombshell on me… he has a boyfriend. He seems like a great guy, that I would definitely consider dating, but looks like that opportunity isn’t there any more. All of the good, hot guys always seem to already have men. I’m fine being single, but the guys I am interested in dating just aren’t available.

He apparently felt like it was my job to ask the question based on the way he told me. I feel more like it’s his job to disclose that if it’s going to cause some problems. He’s definitely a nice guy, and very obedient. I’ll definitely be meeting up with him again, despite the BF thing.

No related posts.

Related posts:

1. Pics: Caught in the Wild
2. Hiding the Wild Side
3. More Wild Cuddlers Join the Crew

Here are the photos below, click on them to view/leave some comments.

Related posts:

1. Pics: Caught in the Wild #2
2. More Wild Cuddlers Join the Crew
3. Hiding the Wild Side

I’m sure most of you knew that, or at least you do now. Well, last night I went and hooked up with a guy that visits Austin a couple times a year. This is the second time we met up, and I should have taken clues from the first time.

He said he wanted to be my bitch, wanted me to choke him, leave bruises on him, make him lick my boots. As we get closer to actually playing his attitude becomes a lot more vanilla, and once we start actually playing, he might as well be a plow up sex doll. He likes being choked, and he likes be fucked. That seems to be about it because when I try to do anything more he starts crying like a girl – not in the hot “I’m going to make you my bitch whether you want it or not” way either.

He likes to spend maybe 20-30 minutes fooling around and having sex, then he’s done. I have an hour minimum for having sex. After 30 min, you’re just getting to the good foreplay. I’m in for the long haul when I have sex, not some quickie that would be better served by Mr Right Hand or my FleshJack.

I’m pretty sure the guy is just a slut though. As soon as I shot my load down his throat and all over his face, he ran to the bathroom to wipe it up and take a shower. Leaving me just sitting there. He was in there for about 5 min, so I got my things together and got dressed. When I was cleaning up I noticed another condom in the trash… ugh. His hole wasn’t that tight either. He probably didn’t want me to bruise him or anything because he had to make the other guys he was going to play with later feel like they were the only ones.

Would I play with him again… probably not. Unless he truly lets me go all the way, I’ll be too bored.

No related posts.

Now what is it about being kinky that causes people to think that I want to be unsafe or PNP (Party And Play – use drugs on have sex). In my profiles, it says “Safe Only” and “No PNP”. I realize some guys don’t read that, but it feels more like they are associating kinky sex with PNP or unsafe sex.

It really does seem like there is a general understanding even within the BDSM/kink community that unsafe sex is common and almost expected. I don’t have a big problem with two informed and consenting adults making a decision to have unsafe sex, but when it’s thought to be expected and common place; I find that unacceptable.

Please play smart whether you play safe or not, and realize that the best way to play kinky is to play smart and safe.

Also, check out this amazing pamphlet – Safer BDSM Booklet July 2009 by the AIDS Committee of Toronto.

Related posts:

1. Beyond Kinky: Don’t Hang Your Sex Slaves
2. Kinky Suggestions
3. Kinky Recession Do’s and Don’t's

longest ive pounded is 17 minutes straight pounding different positions

[Source: Craigs List ad response]

Now, is that really something to brag about?

I’ll give you the whole ad here, but why is a top responding to another tops ad? And who really measures their ass.

25 yo masc top hisp/blk 8″ ddf i’d do it all all chores……but liv n salado……big guy like u……hav 2 live outside austn 4 me to get 2 u…….stats..44 chest 36 waist 46 ass….really wnt to fuk u if ur ddf and hiv neg…..nsa…if u hav nice feet like to lick them n suck ur toes….id suck those nps 2 but wuld luv 2 see that hot big ass n pound it……longest ive pounded is 17 minutes straight pounding different positions

No related posts.

Your version of sex is just not sex. Did something bad happen to you growing up to make you want to inflict pain on another and call it sex?

I got that message from a guy on adam4adam.com. Now really… what the fuck? Check out my profile and take a look.

Yeah, I’m a kinky fucker, but I have a feeling you probably already know that. What would make “my version” of sex, not sex? For me, “sex” is using sexual energies to make a connection with someone. Does it mean that either of us has to blow a load, or someone get’s fucked? Not at all. It’s been a long time since I’ve fucked someone, and a LOT longer since I’ve gotten fucked. Fucking just isn’t a part of what I regularly do for sex. Kinky/BDSM sex often generates a much stronger connection between the people because of the amount of trust it takes between the people. The only thing I’m hoping when kissing another guy is they don’t have mouth herpes or bad breathe.

Has my upbringing affected who I am as a sexual person today? I’m sure it did somehow, but I have no clue how. Yes, my parents were both very dominant, and if I didn’t become as equally as dominant and independent, I would be a push-over. Being gay and having an older brother who got all the attention until he left for college also helped me become very independent.

I was never physically punished as a child. Then again, I was always kind of an outsider through high school, and I did have a couple of bullies. I never got into any physical fights with them though. Actually, I’ve never been in a physical fight with anyone, other than maybe my brother, but that was usually us chasing each other.

To be honest, my whole upbringing was pretty uneventful. I was in the Boy Scouts,  got my Eagle Scout award, and worked at a Boy Scout camp for 6 years. I’ve always naturally fallen into a leadership role, so that may explain why I tend towards being Dominant. It still doesn’t explain my innate interest in kink though, and I’m fine with that.

I can definitely tell you how I found out I was interested in kinky shit in one word. Porn. Yes, it was the wonderful world of downloaded kinky porn that showed my that watching a muscle guy get his ball beat got me rock hard. Seeing a nice fist go up his muscle ass and listening to him moan… yup, hard again.

To the person who sent me that message – if you’re passionate and romantic sex can be sex, why can’t my animalistic and yet intellectual sessions be sex?

Oh, and did I mention, he said he’s conservative in his profile.

No related posts.

Thanks!
The Cuddler

Related posts:

1. Twitter: I love some of the message I get on hookup sites – “hey whats up? comeover and piss on me and spank my ass while you are doing it”
2. Twitter: I just improved my blog for viewing on the iPhone. Check it out – http://www.wildcuddler.com
3. Blog Problems