Punishment as Pleasure | Cuddling on the Wild Side

Punishment as Pleasure: Edging

As my Master tells me often, the more desperate a slave needs to release himself, the more obedient and “single-minded” he becomes. As a slave myself, there is nothing more erotic than to know that the only way I am allow to relief myself is under my Master’s mercy, that he owns my ultimate pleasure and needs. Whether it is just simple cum control session where the sub is tied to the bed and being teased in every single way possible (polishing on the tip of the shaft only, being forced to watch porn while Master tickle torture and moan next to slave) or a week long chastity torture with a few stroking tease per night just enough for it to drool and be edged, the prolong of orgasm of a slave provides the perfect fuel (and mind-set) for him to serve his Master.

There are lots of ways to ensure a slave is constantly on edge and a Master can be very creative with this department and can also incorporate with a slave’s daily routine. For example, a slave who works in the office (or mostly sitting down at work) can easily be wearing a small butt-plug for a few hours during the day. When this happens to me, after about a week of short cum control sessions, I find myself squirming at the edge my seat dying to get a bit of “action” with the plug. To top that, my Master will send me text messages when this is going on and ask me questions like “who owns you, boy?” to make sure that the stimulation is associate with him being at the presence. It’s the mixture of eroticism, helplessness and the understanding of the slave is being owned that makes such edging session successful.

Other great ways to put slave on edge that can be fun includes having the slave cleanup the house while wearing his Master’s sock over the shaft and a cockband to keep the erection constant (imagine the sensation of the sock rubbing against the shaft…); sprinkle little tickle powder into slave’s underwear before sending him to go shopping for Master (imagine the helpless twitches while trying to concentrate…); or even just simply leave lubrication around pubic area all day to keep it moist and sensual. The key is to make the slave keeping on edge but at the same time associate that edging with his Master.

Of course, there’s no rule on how long the cum control or chastity should be (the mystery itself is also the brilliant part. “Am I going to be allowed tonight or it’s going to be denied at the very end?”) However, for the health of the slave, it is important to know that excessive edging is not great for the prostate and can potentially do harm in the long-run, so regular “flushing”, such as cum ruin, is still recommend.

Punishment As Pleasure: Talk Dirty

No matter what kind of kinks you are into, dirty talk is an essential part of any bedroom activities (even vanilla!) As a sub, we get our sexual energy from the Dom. So how we “perform” can very well be determined by how the Dom talks to us. Unfortunately, for many people who just start to explore the kink world or are meeting up with complete strangers, it’s difficult to get over the initial embarrassment of talking dirty.

If there is a pair of words that you absolutely need to learn before you start your kink, they will have to be “Sir” and “boy”.

Like many naturally submissive guys, I love being talked down to and there are no other words that can get to my immediately attention than the word “boy”. There is just something naturally degrading about the word. It instantly establishes a hierarchy between the user and the receiver and it is just intimate enough that the receiver feels there is a tiny bit of “love” (or lust) in between. Every time my Master uses the term (which he probably use it 70% even in our “normal” conversations) he reminds and reassures me that I am his property, that he is the Master and I am only good when being told that I am. In a strange way, it’s a comforting word for me and for other subs that I have talked to. In return, by calling my Master “Sir”, I honor his presence and he is the center of my attention.

For beginners who wants to try dirty talks, a great way to start is to verbalize or make a question of the things that you are about to do. For example, when you are about to fuck, instead of just flat staring at each other, try adding some conversational pieces while you are lubing up the condom, like “I’m getting ready to put this cock in you, boy.” And when you’re ready, try a suggestive question like “do you want this meat, boy?” or even “tell me what you want me to do? Tell me how bad you want it.” This will instantly turn all those awkward waiting moments to be foreplay. In times, you will look forward to the talks as much as the sex.

As for subs who likes to take a little bit of control (which you know will just become a humiliation at the end), I suggest start the dirty talk by asking for permissions. Asking whether you can get something from your Master can be arousing for the Master as for yourself. Since my Master will not allow me to touch any part of him without his permission, I have to verbalize almost all my actions. Of course, the fun part is when you start to get denied. It becomes extremely degrading for a sub when he has to ask for permission to do things that he really wants to do (ie: permission to cum or to suck) and things that he hates to happen (ie: permission to be spanked or to lick the floor).

These are just some very basic stuff that are easy to start and hopefully can allow you and your partner to get over the awkwardness of dirty talking. Don’t forget boys, we are not just all butt fucking machines, let’s put some class and dialogues into the sex.

Who says man can’t Fly?

Editor’s Warning: This is definitely not for beginners and should only be done with experienced people.

I’m feeling anxious, nervous and really excited. It is my first time in this dungeon space and I haven’t previously played very hard with the Top I’m here with. Yet I’ve agreed to let him use a single tail snake whip on me tonight. Despite the conventional wisdom that says man cannot fly, I am also hoping to Fly tonight. I’m being led through a large dungeon play space that is packed with many very hot leather-clad and naked men engaged in advanced BDSM scenes: floggings, bondage, breath control, needle play, fisting, you name it. The Top I’m with directs me to the far end of the room where a large St. Andrews cross is standing in the corner. He tells me to strip naked.

Despite the fact that I do not have a finely honed gym body (to say the least), I comply with his request immediately and without a lot of nervous stress, because being naked in a room with 40 other men is now the least of my angst. I’m more concerned at this point with not humiliating myself, not embarrassing my Top and generally making sure I’m not in over my head.

St Andrew's Cross

At my Top’s direction I stand facing the cross and the corner, with my back to him. He asks if I would like my wrists and ankles restrained to the cross and I explain that I prefer no restraints. He begins warming up by throwing the whip, but not making direct contact with me. I can hear it whistle right before cracking as it breaks the sound barrier. I can also feel the slight air movement near my back. It’s only a couple of inches away now. I am ready to feel it. And then it happens – the first kiss of the whip against my back. The pain is sharp and stinging. I breathe through the pain and vocally grunt to help process it. He continues building the strokes in a relatively steady rhythm and in a classic V pattern on my back. He builds slowly, ramping to harder lashes with longer contact stripes. By ramping the pain slowly and not “burning his dinner” I am keeping pace with the pain he’s inflicting and processing it with the help of aggressive breathing, loud grunting and tons of sweat. I am about ready to Fly.

So what exactly is “flying?”

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Punishment as Pleasure: It’s not just a river in Egypt

There are many kinky things a Master and the boy can do or use, but if you don’t have the space or the budget to invest in some dungeon equipment, you can still get lots of intensity by using the method of cum denial.

thedoghouse.org provided a pretty good definition for cum denial:

The principle behind cum denial is simple: the victim wants to cum, but is prevented from doing so. The more desperately he needs to cum, the more effective it is – and this becomes a torture when the Top sets about intentionally increasing the victim’s need to cum, while also making very sure that he can’t obtain the relief he so urgently needs.

Being a sub, there is nothing more discouraging when my Master gives the mercy to pleasure me but not giving the final edge or permission to cum. It’s both humiliating and sexually frustrating at the same time. The brilliant part about this is there are infinite amount of ways my Master can torture me and he always get to use my own fetish against me: the more I love it, the more agony I am in. He gets to hear me squirm and beg while I can’t even complain the situation because I am under my own torture. May it be a piece of silk fabric gently rubbing the tip of the cock, making me believe I will get to cum but can not, or simply being told not to touch myself while he describe every detail of the porn he is watching, the list is endless.

There is a lot of flexibility with cum denial, in fact, it can be done at any time of the day at any location (the torture is just a phone call away), but the key is to keep the sub in constant urge to cum. It depends on the individual, but in general, after half hour to an hour of torture, the sub generally will start to lose completely control over himself and eventually all he could think of is to release himself. This is generally the time when my master will say “it’s going to be a long night.” It puts me in hopeless state of frustrating wondering if I will ever get it. Other methods can be added to maximize the fun like punishments (or threaten to) when the sub cum without permission, force milking on the sensitive cock after orgasm, or one of my favorite, cum ruin, which is when my master finally permit me to cum yet once it starts shooting he takes off all stimulation so no pleasure were given.

Cum denial is a great way for you and your Master to bond with each others. As it takes a reasonable time for a Top to completely understand the body of the sub, by testing different methods of arouse it opens up new fetishes for both the master and the boy in a safe and control way.