Cuddling on the
Wild Side

I like my sex energetic, rough and sadistic… alright… I said it.

I’m sure most of you knew that, or at least you do now. Well, last night I went and hooked up with a guy that visits Austin a couple times a year. This is the second time we met up, and I should have taken clues from the first time.

He said he wanted to be my bitch, wanted me to choke him, leave bruises on him, make him lick my boots. As we get closer to actually playing his attitude becomes a lot more vanilla, and once we start actually playing, he might as well be a plow up sex doll. He likes being choked, and he likes be fucked. That seems to be about it because when I try to do anything more he starts crying like a girl – not in the hot “I’m going to make you my bitch whether you want it or not” way either.

He likes to spend maybe 20-30 minutes fooling around and having sex, then he’s done. I have an hour minimum for having sex. After 30 min, you’re just getting to the good foreplay. I’m in for the long haul when I have sex, not some quickie that would be better served by Mr Right Hand or my FleshJack.

I’m pretty sure the guy is just a slut though. As soon as I shot my load down his throat and all over his face, he ran to the bathroom to wipe it up and take a shower. Leaving me just sitting there. He was in there for about 5 min, so I got my things together and got dressed. When I was cleaning up I noticed another condom in the trash… ugh. His hole wasn’t that tight either. He probably didn’t want me to bruise him or anything because he had to make the other guys he was going to play with later feel like they were the only ones.

Would I play with him again… probably not. Unless he truly lets me go all the way, I’ll be too bored.

When I message guys on hookup sites one of the first questions I ask is “Do you like to get kinky?” Recently I’ve been getting guys that respond with “I don’t do unsafe” or “I’m partying and only get kinky when I’m partying.”

Now what is it about being kinky that causes people to think that I want to be unsafe or PNP (Party And Play – use drugs on have sex). In my profiles, it says “Safe Only” and “No PNP”. I realize some guys don’t read that, but it feels more like they are associating kinky sex with PNP or unsafe sex.

It really does seem like there is a general understanding even within the BDSM/kink community that unsafe sex is common and almost expected. I don’t have a big problem with two informed and consenting adults making a decision to have unsafe sex, but when it’s thought to be expected and common place; I find that unacceptable.

Please play smart whether you play safe or not, and realize that the best way to play kinky is to play smart and safe.

Also, check out this amazing pamphlet – Safer BDSM Booklet July 2009 by the AIDS Committee of Toronto.

Let’s get this out of the way up front: I’m picky about my porn. Combining both the snobbery of my non-kink life as a performer with the additional snobbery of my reasonable photoshop skills means that nothing can wilt my boner faster than a cheesy video performance or a very poorly photoshopped porno pic.

Allow me to offer an example:

What's going on here?!?

This photo actually makes my eyes hurt a little bit. What the hell is going on here exactly? Let’s dissect why this hot concept is ruined by not-hot photoshopping.

• Granted, the concept is kinky. Who doesn’t get off on forced workout scenes? (I know I certainly do!) But it’s not really a stretch to imagine this scenario. In fact, I’m fairly certain that there are REAL photographs of scenes like this floating around. Maybe not specifically with a whip, but definitely with the cop and the hapless push-up slave.

• Light sources! The most common problem with bad photoshopping is nailing down the light sources. Are we to believe that the push-up guy is casting a shadow to his left on the floor, but Officer Whippy does not? Is he a ghost? If so, then there is an even more perverse undercurrent to this kink.

NSFW pics and more after the jump… Read the rest of this post »