First let’s check out a couple dictionary definitions of what a fetish is:

Merriam-Webster

1 a: an object (as a small stone carving of an animal) believed to have magical power to protect or aid its owner ; broadly : a material object regarded with superstitious or extravagant trust or reverence b: an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion : prepossession c: an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression
2: a rite or cult of fetish worshipers
3: fixation

Dictionary.com

1. An object that is believed to have magical or spiritual powers, especially such an object associated with animistic or shamanistic religious practices.
2. An object of unreasonably excessive attention or reverence: made a fetish of punctuality.
3. Something, such as a material object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.
4. An abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment; a fixation.

Urban Dictionary

1. An object thought to have magical, especially magically sexual, powers
2. A sexual fixation or obsession with a usually non-sexual object. EX. socks, horses, monkeys, pain, bondage

Just as with all the fetishes out there, there is an equal number of definitions at to what it is. Now I didn’t know it had another definition for a magical object, but we can skip over that one. Now, I’ll admit it, after looking at these definitions, I definitely use the word “fetish” inappropriately.

A fetish is something that a can reduce a person’s sexual experience if it is not present. It can be physical or mental and usually requires outside influence.

I don’t think I have anything that is truly a fetish. I have some things that definitely make my sexual experiences better and easier, but nothing that’s required. Do you have any?

Also, check out and let me know of any unusual fetishes I like to call Fringe Fetishes.

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No… not you?

Well, yes. Some people are into it, but I’ve never done it. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be aware the precautions in case you are interested in exploring it or if you have a friend looking for some advice.

Shit play encompasses a ‘Brown Rainbow’ of sexual desire. Some scat players are only into the visual aspects, such as watching someone take a dump or looking at an unflushed toilet while aroused. Many are into smearing shit on their bodies. Some like to eat shit. Still others are into ‘Farming’ or gathering shit from public toilets. For most it is probably some combination of these activities. [source]

As with any situation, always take the basic precautions – protection and the (not so common) common sense. Basic precautions in this case could include gloves and possibly a dental dam.

Some other things to know is that scat is that it can transmit HIV and other STIs just like you can with blood. There are some other diseases you can get from scat that you can’t get from a nice juicy white load. Those include include e-coli, Hepatitis A, B and C. So, it’s best if you can get the Hepatitis vaccine if you plan to really get into this. Some of these things can kill you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy this.

There is much more to this than just the precautions, but it’s a place to start. If you have any experience with this, or any questions please let me know.

Hanky color Brown

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There is a little fetish that I have that I haven’t shared with you. I try to keep it on the down-low, but to truly make this an open blog like I promised – I must admit it.

So, here it is… reading your comments really gets my rocks off. I get rock hard reading them, then I start reading the next one. If there are more than 2-3 comments on a post, that’s it… my screen’s covered in cum. So, if you could help me out, that would be greatly appreciated.

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No matter what kind of kinks you are into, dirty talk is an essential part of any bedroom activities (even vanilla!) As a sub, we get our sexual energy from the Dom. So how we “perform” can very well be determined by how the Dom talks to us. Unfortunately, for many people who just start to explore the kink world or are meeting up with complete strangers, it’s difficult to get over the initial embarrassment of talking dirty.

If there is a pair of words that you absolutely need to learn before you start your kink, they will have to be “Sir” and “boy”.

Like many naturally submissive guys, I love being talked down to and there are no other words that can get to my immediately attention than the word “boy”. There is just something naturally degrading about the word. It instantly establishes a hierarchy between the user and the receiver and it is just intimate enough that the receiver feels there is a tiny bit of “love” (or lust) in between. Every time my Master uses the term (which he probably use it 70% even in our “normal” conversations) he reminds and reassures me that I am his property, that he is the Master and I am only good when being told that I am. In a strange way, it’s a comforting word for me and for other subs that I have talked to. In return, by calling my Master “Sir”, I honor his presence and he is the center of my attention.

For beginners who wants to try dirty talks, a great way to start is to verbalize or make a question of the things that you are about to do. For example, when you are about to fuck, instead of just flat staring at each other, try adding some conversational pieces while you are lubing up the condom, like “I’m getting ready to put this cock in you, boy.” And when you’re ready, try a suggestive question like “do you want this meat, boy?” or even “tell me what you want me to do? Tell me how bad you want it.” This will instantly turn all those awkward waiting moments to be foreplay. In times, you will look forward to the talks as much as the sex.

As for subs who likes to take a little bit of control (which you know will just become a humiliation at the end), I suggest start the dirty talk by asking for permissions. Asking whether you can get something from your Master can be arousing for the Master as for yourself. Since my Master will not allow me to touch any part of him without his permission, I have to verbalize almost all my actions. Of course, the fun part is when you start to get denied. It becomes extremely degrading for a sub when he has to ask for permission to do things that he really wants to do (ie: permission to cum or to suck) and things that he hates to happen (ie: permission to be spanked or to lick the floor).

These are just some very basic stuff that are easy to start and hopefully can allow you and your partner to get over the awkwardness of dirty talking. Don’t forget boys, we are not just all butt fucking machines, let’s put some class and dialogues into the sex.

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I’m going to begin this series with a Craigs List ad that @myriadian on Twitter came across.

any balloon fetish guy on the area?

---

Reply to: pers-1021552232@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2009-02-05, 1:20AM EST

here latino with balloon fetish ,looking for similar,we can make a group in dc area contact me with your pics and experience with balloons,we can meet to blow up big balloons together and more.

[source]

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Editor’s Warning: This is definitely not for beginners and should only be done with experienced people.

I’m feeling anxious, nervous and really excited. It is my first time in this dungeon space and I haven’t previously played very hard with the Top I’m here with. Yet I’ve agreed to let him use a single tail snake whip on me tonight. Despite the conventional wisdom that says man cannot fly, I am also hoping to Fly tonight. I’m being led through a large dungeon play space that is packed with many very hot leather-clad and naked men engaged in advanced BDSM scenes: floggings, bondage, breath control, needle play, fisting, you name it. The Top I’m with directs me to the far end of the room where a large St. Andrews cross is standing in the corner. He tells me to strip naked.

Despite the fact that I do not have a finely honed gym body (to say the least), I comply with his request immediately and without a lot of nervous stress, because being naked in a room with 40 other men is now the least of my angst. I’m more concerned at this point with not humiliating myself, not embarrassing my Top and generally making sure I’m not in over my head.

St Andrew's Cross

At my Top’s direction I stand facing the cross and the corner, with my back to him. He asks if I would like my wrists and ankles restrained to the cross and I explain that I prefer no restraints. He begins warming up by throwing the whip, but not making direct contact with me. I can hear it whistle right before cracking as it breaks the sound barrier. I can also feel the slight air movement near my back. It’s only a couple of inches away now. I am ready to feel it. And then it happens – the first kiss of the whip against my back. The pain is sharp and stinging. I breathe through the pain and vocally grunt to help process it. He continues building the strokes in a relatively steady rhythm and in a classic V pattern on my back. He builds slowly, ramping to harder lashes with longer contact stripes. By ramping the pain slowly and not “burning his dinner” I am keeping pace with the pain he’s inflicting and processing it with the help of aggressive breathing, loud grunting and tons of sweat. I am about ready to Fly.

So what exactly is “flying?”

Some of the more advanced masochists and pain pigs reading this probably know what I’m talking about from their own experiences. For everyone else, I’ll try to do the feeling justice in words, but might come up a little short. I’ll also speak from my own experience and perspective, as it’s likely that different people experience Flying in different ways, under different circumstances and with different results.

Flying refers to the feeling I experience after processing a certain amount of pain –under the right set of circumstance. For example, while I believe Flying is directly tied to my body’s testosterone, endorphins and adrenaline levels rising sharply, I also fly better when I’m with a Top I trust implicitly or with a Top I have a great emotional connection with. When I fly, time slows. Things take on an ethereal quality. I sense things around me (and happening to me), but it’s the point at which you do not feel pain anymore, just the vague sensation that there is some physical contact being made with your body. It’s very freeing, a natural high – and frankly, can also be dangerous. When I Fly, I want the feeling to continue, and in order for that to happen, the pain (that I’m no longer feeling as pain) must keep coming. I want more. Crave more. Need more. I know from experience that this is the point at which I have lost virtually all rational thought. I’m not thinking any more – I’m feeling. And of course, this is where it’s really critical to be with a trustworthy Top who can make decisions for me and about my body’s tolerances. Let me emphasize this point again – if you want to take your body and your mind to this place, you have to have a trustworthy Top who will do right by you (since your brain will be mush at this point). It’s also a good idea to play in a public venue where there are Dungeon Monitors and/or other people around who can monitor your safety.

I feel the whip hit me at the same time I hear it, but I no longer feel the sting of impact. It seems distant and fuzzy. I know it made contact with my back, but there is no need to breathe and vocalize. It just is. It seems factual but not physical. I feel like time doesn’t really exist – or maybe it’s stopped? More strokes come, and my reaction changes from acceptance to greed. I want more. I like this! It’s the greatest feeling! No pain! It’s just bliss! More! More! Each stroke is like a gift and I am just floating on a cloud. I actually hear myself giggle. My Top asks me if I’m crying and I pause for a beat as if answering the truth might get me in trouble. I sheepishly confess that I’m laughing and he starts laughing too. He tells me we’re done and to just stand there so I don’t fall over. I’m high as they get – wobbly legs, sweat everywhere and everything around me seems kind of surreal. I’ve been so focused on my top and the energy we’ve been sharing that I notice only now that there’s quite a crowd around us. I hear some murmuring about my back and it’s not until much later when I’m near a mirror that I see what they are talking about.

The Top sits me down, pats my back with clean paper towels (there is blood) and sprays my back with Bactine to help reduce the chance of infection (side note: Bactine promotes itself as “Sting Free” which is just about the biggest lie ever). The Top packs his gear and cleans the playspace while I put on my jeans and boots. He escorts me out of the dungeon to an adjacent room to recover. I sit down and drink water sans shirt, letting my back start to dry out and scab up so we can go home.

An important part of a scene like this is the “aftercare” where the bond between Top and bottom remains intact while both men come down from the high of playing. The bottom in particular is going to be coming down hard from the headspace he was in and will be pretty vulnerable emotionally, probably have some judgment issues, and may need some minor medical care immediately following a scene. I’ve also learned that it’s critical for me to get some good exercise in the couple of days following a heavy scene in order to avoid a post scene “crash” brought on by the plunge in your adrenaline and endorphins when the scene is over. Your mileage may vary.

Best of all, you don’t have to be into whipping to experience Flying. I’ve flown from whipping, spanking, flogging and needle play – all scenes where a great connection with a Top meshed with the right level and ramp of endorphin rush. Who says man can’t Fly?

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Howdy fellow perverts and perversion-enthusiasts!

I think it bears repeating that whether your into exxxtreme kink or are merely a vanilla twist*, you should honor your kinks and let your freak flag fly high.

I believe Gene here says it best:

From Wet Hot American Summer

A shout out to all the ass-mud-smearers and fridge-humpers out there. To whatever turns your crank (so long as it involves consenting adults and/or appliances, of course), hold your head high and be proud of who you are!

*vanilla twist means someone with just a slight kink.

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1) Start with the very basics of all sex, always play safe. That means using condoms and other protective barriers. Also, know what will degrade different barriers that you are using. For latex condoms, and other latex items, anything that is oil-based will deteriorate the latex. That means you shouldn’t fist a guy with Crisco then think it’s safe to fuck him with a condom. Also, it’s an excellent idea to use condoms on ass-play toys, especially if there are multiple people involved. I’ve known people to get everything from a Staph infection to herpes from sex play. Make sure you are prepared for anything that might happen in advance. I recommend keeping extra condoms, lube,  gloves and a small first aid kit in your toy bag. You never know what might happen.

2) Never trust anyone, especially at first. It’s very pessimistic, but it’s true. Do not trust their HIV/STD status, whether they are in a relationship or not, or what experiences they have had. People will often say whatever will get into your pants. I highly recommend avoiding things that could put you in risky situations like in bondage, asphyxiation sex, or knife/edge play. Whether you plan to do some of these things or not, it’s a great idea to always notify someone where you are going to be. I have a roommate, so I’ll leave a map of where I’m going to be and maybe the person’s profile up on my computer screen. Another idea is to have a buddy that you just IM where you’re going and when you’ll let them know you’re alright. These warnings aren’t just for subs. Doms, you have to watch out too. You never know what “surprises” someone may have waiting for you.

3) If you’re interested in trying something new, being willing to try it and find someone to try it with. You could mention it to some of your kinky friends and they may be able to recommend the perfect person for you, but also try mentioning it with a potential partner. They may already be an expert in that field. Also, proceed slowly and in a controlled manner. I’m very open about my sexuality and my sexual interests even when just meeting a guy. This causes them to be much more open also and willing to try things they’ve only fantasized about.

4) If you don’t heed this last warning, you might as well ignore everything else I’ve said. It’s very simple… avoid any type of mood-altering substances before playing. This includes alcohol, drugs or sometimes even just being desperate to get some action. These substances can cause you to ignore every recommendation above regardless of any planning you do. I’d even recommend avoiding playing with people that are under an influence because they won’t be in the right mind to give proper feedback.

As for finding kinky guys to try things with, as I mentioned earlier, just tell any potential partner. Just don’t make it sound like a demand. One site I highly recommend is Recon, but if you’re looking for an online hook-up on non-kink sites, try putting things like “mild to (very) wild” in your other profiles. Sometimes I’ll even go so far as listing out some of the things that interest me. Also, don’t be afraid to ask people when talking to them, just don’t make it ever sound like a requirement (unless it is).

If you have any questions, please send me an email and I’ll respond on the blog, unless you request otherwise. Either way I’ll keep you confidential. If more appropriate, I may have one of the other contributors respond. Also check out my Whipping Post page to see if I’ve already answered your question

PS – Yes, those are just hot guys there to keep your attention some. I’ll try to do that every now and then.

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There are many kinky things a Master and the boy can do or use, but if you don’t have the space or the budget to invest in some dungeon equipment, you can still get lots of intensity by using the method of cum denial.

thedoghouse.org provided a pretty good definition for cum denial:

The principle behind cum denial is simple: the victim wants to cum, but is prevented from doing so. The more desperately he needs to cum, the more effective it is – and this becomes a torture when the Top sets about intentionally increasing the victim’s need to cum, while also making very sure that he can’t obtain the relief he so urgently needs.

Being a sub, there is nothing more discouraging when my Master gives the mercy to pleasure me but not giving the final edge or permission to cum. It’s both humiliating and sexually frustrating at the same time. The brilliant part about this is there are infinite amount of ways my Master can torture me and he always get to use my own fetish against me: the more I love it, the more agony I am in. He gets to hear me squirm and beg while I can’t even complain the situation because I am under my own torture. May it be a piece of silk fabric gently rubbing the tip of the cock, making me believe I will get to cum but can not, or simply being told not to touch myself while he describe every detail of the porn he is watching, the list is endless.

There is a lot of flexibility with cum denial, in fact, it can be done at any time of the day at any location (the torture is just a phone call away), but the key is to keep the sub in constant urge to cum. It depends on the individual, but in general, after half hour to an hour of torture, the sub generally will start to lose completely control over himself and eventually all he could think of is to release himself. This is generally the time when my master will say “it’s going to be a long night.” It puts me in hopeless state of frustrating wondering if I will ever get it. Other methods can be added to maximize the fun like punishments (or threaten to) when the sub cum without permission, force milking on the sensitive cock after orgasm, or one of my favorite, cum ruin, which is when my master finally permit me to cum yet once it starts shooting he takes off all stimulation so no pleasure were given.

Cum denial is a great way for you and your Master to bond with each others. As it takes a reasonable time for a Top to completely understand the body of the sub, by testing different methods of arouse it opens up new fetishes for both the master and the boy in a safe and control way.

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Just a simple turn changes this wristband into a bondage device

Something I bought recently that highlights this effect is a simple wristband, but by unbuckling one strap giving it a quick turn it becomes a bondage device for the wrist that can be used in front and behind. The sales clerk at the store I bought it from called it something like “Black Tie Bondage”. It would be awesome to find/create more products like this. There is also a little excitement in being out with your friends knowing that they are looking at something that is often taboo, yet it looks very normal.

One other thing we are doing is creating a little “den-geon” out of his garage he doesn’t use for cars any more. The room is going to be a basic TV room with a vary masculine feel to it, but designed specifically for kink play. That means the floor is going to be something easy to clean, we are thinking stained and sealed concrete. The furniture is going to be light-weight so we can easily move it to the side. The ceiling is going to have exposed beams that we are going to cover with eye bolts all over the whole room for hanging a sling or used for restraints. One last thing is we’re going to have a bookshelf with a locked cabinet as part of it specifically for storing toys such as flogs, rope, and our other implements of torture.

I hope to find and create more of these items and share them with you. It’s a great way to add a little spice to your sex life, whether you go this extreme or just looking for a couple ideas. Let me know what you have done.

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1) If you love CBT like I do, try some products like Icy Hot on the balls and possibly cock. You might want to have the sub bound and gagged because they will likely squirm and scream.

2) For those muscle/jock lovers out there that have some dumbbells at home, try using them as a restraint method. You can either lay them on top of the wrist/forearm while the sub is laying on a bed or if you have really heavy weights you could use rope and tie your sub to the weights.

3) Something I have really wanted to try, but haven’t been able to do yet is called Figging. Essentially you take a peeled piece of ginger and use it as a butt plug. If you try this, let me know. More Information

Clamps similar to this can be used for more intense nipple play. Find ones with a flat end.

4) Try to find every day products that can be used for kinky purposes. My BF found some large wood clamps he loves to have on his nipples. They provide a lot of pressure, but are still soft on the skin. Just take caution on which direction they go and don’t let them pull off unless you like blood-play.

5) Find a gag that you can still open the sub’s mouth some with. Once you’re done working them over and ready to blow your load, pry their mouth open and let the cum flow over the gag down into their mouth. They’ll then feel your cum slowly drip over the gag hitting their mouth. Let them just sit back and enjoy it for a bit.

Let me know what other things you enjoy doing, or any good implements of pleasure/pain.

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In 2008 the world’s largest leather event, the Folsom Street Fair^tm, will celebrate its 25th anniversary on Sunday, September 28, 2008 from 11:00 AM to 6:00 PM.

The Folsom Street Fair is a true San Francisco original. With over 400,000 people in attendance covering 13 city blocks, the Fair is the largest leather/fetish event in the world and the third largest, single-day outdoor event in California. Folsom Street Events is thrilled to celebrate the historic 25th Folsom Street Fair with style and a week’s worth of truly outstanding events and programs over the course of San Francisco Leather Week.

Last year in 2007 was my first time attending and it was my first big leather event and 2nd big gay event outside of Minnesota. Folsom 2007 met many of my expectations, but many fell very far short. My first impression of the gay mecca was not the transcendant and surreal experience I expected. Instead it was fast-paced and self-centered. I had talked with a couple guys online before going that happened to be on my connecting flight to SF. These guys ended up becoming my roommates here in Texas, and that was a very good thing. The 3 of us attended the Big Muscle Meet and Greet. It was awesome seeing so many big hot muscle guys there.

One of the hotties at Folsom 2007. If you look closely, he shaved in some abs.

We also went to the Magnitude party on Saturday night. It’s a bunch of muscle and other leather boys gathered all together. Which sounds cool, until you realize that they are all tweaked out and it was 500 billion degrees in the place. Dungeon Beds provided about 5 beds that anyone could use for a variety of things from fucking to fisting to sucking. I may have even participated and let a guy suck my cock. The fisting and fucking was very hot to watch. I don’t plan to go back to Magnitude anytime soon.

Sunday was the actual Street Fair which was pretty good, but didn’t quite live up to my expectations. Of course you had the naked people, and some jacking off, but I didn’t see any sex happening. There were also many more straight people there than I expected.

Even though last year wasn’t quite what I expected, it was also my introduction to the global leather community. I’m going back this year with different expectations and different plans. I’m planning to be there Friday Sept 26th and will be leave Tuesday Sept 30th. I’m hoping to make a lot of friends, buy some toys, and come back with some stories. Let me know if you’re going to be in the area.

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Leatherpost
I recently placed an order with Leatherpost, but I was a little hesitant to do so because one of my friends placed an order with them last year. It took them over a month to complete the order, and if memory serves correct, they sent a wrong item too.

I placed my order on August 18th for 9 items and am currently experiencing similar issues. The reason I ordered from them was because they had a product I really wanted and were the cheapest by $6. A couple days after I placed my order, I received an email saying that some items were on back-order. I told them about the bad experience my friend had had and asked them to send the items they had. Leatherpost assured me I would not be having the same issues and they would send the items asap. On their website, they did state that one item would take some extra time because it would have to be shipped from London, and I had no problem with that, but didn’t think it would affect my whole order. I received Round 1 fairly quickly. It was then over 3 weeks since I placed the order, that I received round 2 of items. I checked my original order and noticed that I have 2 items still pending. I sent them another email expressing my concern and dissatisfaction so far.

Update Leatherpost has responded, and it looks like the final round of my order should be shipping soon.

While they do have a good selection of products and low prices, just be warned that the products may not get there in a timely manner. I would look for products elsewhere first if possible. They will respond to any emails pretty quickly letting you know what the problem is though.

Mr S Leather
One of the most well known names in fetish stores is Mr S Leather and there is a very good reason for that. They are one of the longest running stores, many of their products are custom made or are the exclusive dealers. They offer products for all levels of fetish-players ranging from inexpensive items for the beginner to high end products for the experienced. They also have a very good customer service department. I visited their store in San Fransisco during Folsom 2007 and it was an impressive selection. They even do custom harness building on-site. The only issue I have with them is that the price is higher than average, but it is well worth it for the piece of mind in knowing you’ll get your order in a timely manner and the products will be high quality. Their site can be a little difficult to navigate when they divide different product sections by brand name, but their search works great.

I’ve also been looking at 665, but have not yet bought anything from them yet. I do like their site design and the products they carry. Another site is Nasty Pig. I have bought some of their awesome products, but not from their site yet. I’ll be doing some product reviews over time.

Let me know what you think of differnt online kink stores.

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