Frequently someone will approach me who has only done a little bondage or something just a little kinky. They’ll see one of my ads and want to try the things listed in them, and my list is usually pretty long. I had this happen just a couple days ago.
I’ll start out by asking them a couple questions:
- What do you have experience with?
- What do you really want to try?
- What would you rather not try?
- What’s your fantasy scene?
With those I can generally get a pretty good idea of where to go and what follow-up question I want to ask. One very important thing to understand is that the words they use, may not mean the same thing as what you understand it to be. I always try to clarify everything.
This guy told me he had done some bondage and enjoyed being spanked in the past. Does that mean he’ll enjoy paddling? Possibly, but that’s something you’re going to want to carefully explore with him.
I also listed out some of my favorites, to see how he would react to them. With newbies especially, unless you have true requirement of what you need to get off, try to leave things very open and don’t make it sound demanding.
Once we got all the details figured out and I’d run through what we’d likely do in my head, I just verified a couple things about what would happen (not everything though, need a couple surprises), and how things would begin. This is all just to make sure they know what will happen and to calm some of their worries.
When he arrives, make sure you are comfortable and confident. It’s going to help put him at ease. I also like to take control and start things right away to get them in the right mindset and take away the chance for them to get worried or afraid.