Here’s a map of fetishes and how they are connected. Click on it for full size.
We know why we eat, we know why we work, but do we know why we have kinky, bdsm sexy? What is it about being spanked that gets you going? What is it about tugging on someone’s nips that makes your cock bounce a little?
There’s so much that’s pleasurable in life, and yet it seems that some of the ultimate pleasure comes from sexually charged connections with another person. Don’t infer that I meant there has to be an orgasm, but the sexual energy and connection that exists. I’m sure there are scientific reasons for some of it, but they won’t explain why I like to beat a muscle boy’s ass black and blue, while the next guy wouldn’t even pick up a paddle.
Jack Rinella, from the Master’s Manual, does make a very good point that if you aren’t at least beginning to understand why you like kinky, bdsm, leather sex; it’s best to stop until you do. I have to agree with him there. There MUST be a basic understanding of why you enjoy it. It’s not going to be something easy to define, it’ll likely take an entire lifetime to begin to even figure out, and by then things will have changed so much it’ll just be looking back on a nostalgic past.
On top of the time it’ll take to figure out why there are many aspects to a connection – physical, romantic, sexual, mental, emotional, and spiritual. A true and powerful experience will touch on all of those. I have yet to experience something like that yet. For me it’s going to have to be an experience with a life-long partner. It takes me a while to build a true connection with a person. As with all things kinky, while thinking about those things, the box is going to need to be broken and the crayon is going to go outside of the lines.