Cuddling on the
Wild Side

A couple months ago I got a very sexy, but straight, personal trainer at the gym. He was a a very nice guy I had met a month earlier. Well, it was our second session at the gym and we were doing some squats that were deeper and more intense than I’d done before. We did one set of squats with not much weight, but about 12 reps, then we did another set after a 45 second rest. It was after the 3rd set that I was like, “hey, I need a bit longer after this set.”

I started to get nauseous, my heart was beating out of my chest, I was pouring sweat, and the collar on my shirt was too tight. Well, after a 10 minute break where I arranged myself in various positions, just trying to calm down and breathe, we moved on to the next exercise.

Over time he learned that I need longer breaks and fewer reps if he wants to keep me alive. That’s just me though, I know he trains other people differently.

Now, you’re probably wondering what does this have to do with kinky, raunchy, piggy sex… well, pretty much everything.

His previous client might not have had any trouble with the exercise I was doing, but I did. When playing, especially as the top/Dom, you have to remember that everyone is different, and will react to the things you do differently. Some people get harder the more you torture their nipples, others love to be tickled. The chemical and nervous system reactions in their body will differ between each person too – making some pleasurable and others torturous. Mmmm… torture…

There are a couple ways you can find out whats going to make things work the best:

• Talk to your play partner. Find out what type of experience they have and where they might have had problems in the past. That’s not to say you have to avoid that stuff, but you must be aware of it and tread more carefully there.
• When exploring your partner, especially if you don’t know your partner well, start slow and build up. In general this is a good idea to get all the endorphins going, and making the experience more pleasurable.
• As the bottom in a scene, let your top know if things are going well. If I hadn’t let my trainer know, I might have passed out during my next set dropping weights on me.
• As the top in a scene, make sure you regularly check in on your bottom especially if things are seeming different.

As with any play, communication is key. To me what makes a great Dom/top is that he is able to read the bottom/sub. If you aren’t a great “reader” or just aren’t sure, it’s totally alright to whisper “You doing alright boy?” It will hopefully help to increase the trust factor between you two also. As the bottom, you must feel comfortable telling your top how things are going. He may decide to push you further, but help him to make an informed decision.

Also, realize that mistakes do happen. Hopefully the top will do his best, but sometimes you don’t realize something is wrong until it’s too late. Use what happens after the mistake is made to inform your decision on whether to play again or not. Give the top a little forgiveness too, if appropriate.

From the views of a single man…

There’s a strong allure about hookup sites like Manhunt, adam4adam, Recon, Grindr, etc. It’s taken me a surprisingly long time to figure it out and truly admit what that allure is. Lots of times I’ll stay logged in for the chance that someone I’m interested in will message me, but that rarely happens. I’ll check back after leaving it on for a couple hours and I’ll see 3-4 messages. I’ll cycle through them and depending on my mood, not respond or just the don’t-message-me-again “Thanks”.

It’s the same reason people pan for gold, shop the bargain rack, or go gambling… there’s the chance that you might get lucky and f ind what you are looking for, or in some cases that they’ll find you.

The true reason is the feeling of being desired. Yeah, it’s great to have someone you know tell you that you’re a good person and how much they like you, but often it looses it’s effect over time. Maybe there’s an endorphin reaction to explain it, but it seems like when someone new finds you attractive and find you them attractive, it leaves a better feeling. That initial spark can create an amazing feeling, but then there is the game of whether it continues or fades off into oblivion as if it never happened.

Am I looking for a boyfriend? As much as I want to say “no”, I really am. I’m not desperate and I’m not going to settle, but it would be nice to find one. Maybe it’s just the cold weather, as this is the nesting season, but I hope that’s not the case.

Am I going to find a boyfriend online? Probably not, but in my mind there is always that chance and that’s what drives me to log on. I’m trying to get away from the online hookup world. I’ll still actively visit sites like BigMuscle and Recon, mostly because they aren’t quick hookup sites, and you really can’t meet local guys on them.

To me, the real question is where do you meet guys. There’s always the bars, coffee shops and the gym. The bars did work for me once, but I had to go to a different city for that. As for what else, I don’t really know.

The other question is what do I do with the time that I’m not surfing hookup sites. It’s kind of scary how much time I spend/waste doing it.

Sorry y’all. I’ve been neglecting the blog, but don’t worry. It’s not you, it’s me.

Nothing bad’s happened. Recently I’ve just been kind of withdrawn from a lot of things. It’s good though, it’s giving me time to think and figure things out. Nothing caused this… it just happens, like a lot of things in life. You just have to make the most of it and work through it.

I’ve gotten some more motivation at the gym though. Mostly through the help of a friend, even though he may not know it. He sent me the picture below because it reminded him of me. I can see it a little in the face, but otherwise I don’t see it at all. For me though, it’s like looking in a mirror and seeing what I could look like. And I really hope I do some day. It’s giving me great motivation to push it hard at the gym. I actually set him as my desktop wallpaper, so I have to stay at him/me every day. Ok, I enjoy it a littlee…

Wish y’all the best! *hugs*