One part of my profile that a LOT of people seem to like is the “forced workouts” and “forced muscle growth”. First let me give you my definitions of them:

Forced workouts Pushing a person to do an exercise, often beyond their comfortable limits. Could include doing excessive pushups while shackled to a spreader bar and the Dom’s boot on your back pushing you down with each set, or it could be more subtlety at the gym pushing the person like a “good” gym partner.

Forced muscle growth This is an extension of forced workouts and can not be done in a single session. In addition to strict workouts, this could include a strict diet, forced steroids and potentially other supplements. The sole intention is to make the person build muscle.

I get a variety of people that will message me about these from bodybuilder muscle slaves to average guys and even chubs. I do have a problem with guys that haven’t ever set a foot in the gym, but seem to have an interest in someone forcing them to workout. Why should I make you workout if you don’t have the self-determination to do it on your own? I can accept it if you do workout, but are looking for help, or used to in the past and took a break, but to have never stepped into a gym…

The part that really gets me about this, why should I let you serve me and invest time in you if you’re not willing to have the self-respect to invest time in yourself? I do to the gym 5 times a week to be healthy and so I look good. I would be lying if I fully said it was about health; I want to look good so I can get hot guys and feel better about myself. There is also a healthy eating aspect to it too, but I’m not even going to touch that right now.

One part I can understand is the idea of submitting to a person and having them mold you into their vision. For me that would be to mold someone into a massive muscle freak. And while I understand the desire to submit because you aren’t able to do it on your own, I need a sub that has the self-determination and self-respect to take care of their own body.

If you want to get going at the gym, the first step is getting a gym membership. They key is finding a gym that is convenient to you; either on your way home from work or near your home/office. The next step is figuring out your goals and how to get there. This is going to vary for each person, but be very clear with your goals. Once you have your goals, I recommend finding a trainer. There is no problem “shopping” around for trainers until you find one that fits you and your goals. From there it’s just dedication. It can help to have a training partner, and more vital is to just make it a part of your daily routine.

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My personal trainer.

I started to get nauseous, my heart was beating out of my chest, I was pouring sweat, and the collar on my shirt was too tight. Well, after a 10 minute break where I arranged myself in various positions, just trying to calm down and breathe, we moved on to the next exercise.

Over time he learned that I need longer breaks and fewer reps if he wants to keep me alive. That’s just me though, I know he trains other people differently.

Now, you’re probably wondering what does this have to do with kinky, raunchy, piggy sex… well, pretty much everything.

His previous client might not have had any trouble with the exercise I was doing, but I did. When playing, especially as the top/Dom, you have to remember that everyone is different, and will react to the things you do differently. Some people get harder the more you torture their nipples, others love to be tickled. The chemical and nervous system reactions in their body will differ between each person too – making some pleasurable and others torturous. Mmmm… torture…

There are a couple ways you can find out whats going to make things work the best:

• Talk to your play partner. Find out what type of experience they have and where they might have had problems in the past. That’s not to say you have to avoid that stuff, but you must be aware of it and tread more carefully there.
• When exploring your partner, especially if you don’t know your partner well, start slow and build up. In general this is a good idea to get all the endorphins going, and making the experience more pleasurable.
• As the bottom in a scene, let your top know if things are going well. If I hadn’t let my trainer know, I might have passed out during my next set dropping weights on me.
• As the top in a scene, make sure you regularly check in on your bottom especially if things are seeming different.

As with any play, communication is key. To me what makes a great Dom/top is that he is able to read the bottom/sub. If you aren’t a great “reader” or just aren’t sure, it’s totally alright to whisper “You doing alright boy?” It will hopefully help to increase the trust factor between you two also. As the bottom, you must feel comfortable telling your top how things are going. He may decide to push you further, but help him to make an informed decision.

Also, realize that mistakes do happen. Hopefully the top will do his best, but sometimes you don’t realize something is wrong until it’s too late. Use what happens after the mistake is made to inform your decision on whether to play again or not. Give the top a little forgiveness too, if appropriate.

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Youve got mail!

There’s a strong allure about hookup sites like Manhunt, adam4adam, Recon, Grindr, etc. It’s taken me a surprisingly long time to figure it out and truly admit what that allure is. Lots of times I’ll stay logged in for the chance that someone I’m interested in will message me, but that rarely happens. I’ll check back after leaving it on for a couple hours and I’ll see 3-4 messages. I’ll cycle through them and depending on my mood, not respond or just the don’t-message-me-again “Thanks”.

It’s the same reason people pan for gold, shop the bargain rack, or go gambling… there’s the chance that you might get lucky and f ind what you are looking for, or in some cases that they’ll find you.

The true reason is the feeling of being desired. Yeah, it’s great to have someone you know tell you that you’re a good person and how much they like you, but often it looses it’s effect over time. Maybe there’s an endorphin reaction to explain it, but it seems like when someone new finds you attractive and find you them attractive, it leaves a better feeling. That initial spark can create an amazing feeling, but then there is the game of whether it continues or fades off into oblivion as if it never happened.

Am I looking for a boyfriend? As much as I want to say “no”, I really am. I’m not desperate and I’m not going to settle, but it would be nice to find one. Maybe it’s just the cold weather, as this is the nesting season, but I hope that’s not the case.

Am I going to find a boyfriend online? Probably not, but in my mind there is always that chance and that’s what drives me to log on. I’m trying to get away from the online hookup world. I’ll still actively visit sites like BigMuscle and Recon, mostly because they aren’t quick hookup sites, and you really can’t meet local guys on them.

To me, the real question is where do you meet guys. There’s always the bars, coffee shops and the gym. The bars did work for me once, but I had to go to a different city for that. As for what else, I don’t really know.

The other question is what do I do with the time that I’m not surfing hookup sites. It’s kind of scary how much time I spend/waste doing it.

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Nothing bad’s happened. Recently I’ve just been kind of withdrawn from a lot of things. It’s good though, it’s giving me time to think and figure things out. Nothing caused this… it just happens, like a lot of things in life. You just have to make the most of it and work through it.

I’ve gotten some more motivation at the gym though. Mostly through the help of a friend, even though he may not know it. He sent me the picture below because it reminded him of me. I can see it a little in the face, but otherwise I don’t see it at all. For me though, it’s like looking in a mirror and seeing what I could look like. And I really hope I do some day. It’s giving me great motivation to push it hard at the gym. I actually set him as my desktop wallpaper, so I have to stay at him/me every day. Ok, I enjoy it a littlee…

Wish y’all the best! *hugs*

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