It’s amazing that in today’s world we all know the saying of what happens when you assume, yet we all still do it. Recently my triad broke up after Sir decided to go another direction. That left the two boys on their own, and quite well for a couple of more weeks until one got a job offer that was a dream for his career goals. Much discussion and some tears ensued and finally one night over dinner it was decided to break up.
At first there was shock and dismay from our friends as to why? There are many who manage to make long distance relationships work and for crying out loud this was only about 300 miles away – a very short plane ride and a not so long drive. Weren’t you two getting along? We all thought you boys would be together for a long time. Shoot, look at what you just went through and managed to come out on the other side. That shows how strong you both are. You’ve been teaching and learning from each other about your kink and fetishes and hasn’t that been going well?
But the argument was strong and the reasoning sound. Sure it was close by but we couldn’t always depend on the every other weekend plan we hoped for – our work schedules had already ruined that theory. We didn’t want to hold the other one back from finding someone(s) that they could start anew with and then get what they needed. I was at the greater disadvantage being in Las Vegas and he in the San Diego area but that didn’t matter.
So what on earth were we thinking? We don’t know and it took a verbal cattle prod from a third party and a few weeks of emotional stewing for me to take the leap and make a crucial phone call. The answer was a resounding, “YES YES YES I’ll have you back!”
And now the “where did we go wrongs” have come back. It’s a big challenge in a BDSM triad to figure out how to balance having three to manage and so we’ve pretty much tossed out figuring out why Sir went away. We think it was jealousy ( read about that in the Ethical Slut to know more ). But why did we not communicate this out to the end? Did we just cave in to emotions that hadn’t been put to rest? Did we take the easiest way out so we wouldn’t have to get tired again of talking and discussing and having to give and take on how to make it work?
We haven’t totally figured it out yet. And I’ll continue to update on how we’re doing because as excited as we are that we’re back on, there is something noticeably different. Sure we communicate still, maybe a little more about some things than we should. But we’ve not picked up right where we left off and that’s going to take some time. Until we figure out just what exactly split us up to begin with, we have some work to do.