I started to get nauseous, my heart was beating out of my chest, I was pouring sweat, and the collar on my shirt was too tight. Well, after a 10 minute break where I arranged myself in various positions, just trying to calm down and breathe, we moved on to the next exercise.
Over time he learned that I need longer breaks and fewer reps if he wants to keep me alive. That’s just me though, I know he trains other people differently.
Now, you’re probably wondering what does this have to do with kinky, raunchy, piggy sex… well, pretty much everything.
His previous client might not have had any trouble with the exercise I was doing, but I did. When playing, especially as the top/Dom, you have to remember that everyone is different, and will react to the things you do differently. Some people get harder the more you torture their nipples, others love to be tickled. The chemical and nervous system reactions in their body will differ between each person too – making some pleasurable and others torturous. Mmmm… torture…
There are a couple ways you can find out whats going to make things work the best:
- Talk to your play partner. Find out what type of experience they have and where they might have had problems in the past. That’s not to say you have to avoid that stuff, but you must be aware of it and tread more carefully there.
- When exploring your partner, especially if you don’t know your partner well, start slow and build up. In general this is a good idea to get all the endorphins going, and making the experience more pleasurable.
- As the bottom in a scene, let your top know if things are going well. If I hadn’t let my trainer know, I might have passed out during my next set dropping weights on me.
- As the top in a scene, make sure you regularly check in on your bottom especially if things are seeming different.
As with any play, communication is key. To me what makes a great Dom/top is that he is able to read the bottom/sub. If you aren’t a great “reader” or just aren’t sure, it’s totally alright to whisper “You doing alright boy?” It will hopefully help to increase the trust factor between you two also. As the bottom, you must feel comfortable telling your top how things are going. He may decide to push you further, but help him to make an informed decision.
Also, realize that mistakes do happen. Hopefully the top will do his best, but sometimes you don’t realize something is wrong until it’s too late. Use what happens after the mistake is made to inform your decision on whether to play again or not. Give the top a little forgiveness too, if appropriate.