Your version of sex is just not sex. Did something bad happen to you growing up to make you want to inflict pain on another and call it sex?

I got that message from a guy on adam4adam.com. Now really… what the fuck? Check out my profile and take a look.

Yeah, I’m a kinky fucker, but I have a feeling you probably already know that. What would make “my version” of sex, not sex? For me, “sex” is using sexual energies to make a connection with someone. Does it mean that either of us has to blow a load, or someone get’s fucked? Not at all. It’s been a long time since I’ve fucked someone, and a LOT longer since I’ve gotten fucked. Fucking just isn’t a part of what I regularly do for sex. Kinky/BDSM sex often generates a much stronger connection between the people because of the amount of trust it takes between the people. The only thing I’m hoping when kissing another guy is they don’t have mouth herpes or bad breathe.

Has my upbringing affected who I am as a sexual person today? I’m sure it did somehow, but I have no clue how. Yes, my parents were both very dominant, and if I didn’t become as equally as dominant and independent, I would be a push-over. Being gay and having an older brother who got all the attention until he left for college also helped me become very independent.

I was never physically punished as a child. Then again, I was always kind of an outsider through high school, and I did have a couple of bullies. I never got into any physical fights with them though. Actually, I’ve never been in a physical fight with anyone, other than maybe my brother, but that was usually us chasing each other.

To be honest, my whole upbringing was pretty uneventful. I was in the Boy Scouts,  got my Eagle Scout award, and worked at a Boy Scout camp for 6 years. I’ve always naturally fallen into a leadership role, so that may explain why I tend towards being Dominant. It still doesn’t explain my innate interest in kink though, and I’m fine with that.

I can definitely tell you how I found out I was interested in kinky shit in one word. Porn. Yes, it was the wonderful world of downloaded kinky porn that showed my that watching a muscle guy get his ball beat got me rock hard. Seeing a nice fist go up his muscle ass and listening to him moan… yup, hard again.

To the person who sent me that message – if you’re passionate and romantic sex can be sex, why can’t my animalistic and yet intellectual sessions be sex?

Oh, and did I mention, he said he’s conservative in his profile.

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